A week from tomorrow, my episode of Baby's First Day will be aired on TLC. The crew documented my labor, delivery and homecoming with Mason last November, and now everyone will get to see it! I have to say, I'm a little bit nervous. I've seen enough reality tv to know that there's probably always a lot more to the story than they have time to show. They are editing for tv, for the best drama and interest the story has to offer. They probably have 15 hours of footage, and it will all boil down to maybe 11 minutes of tv time. What part of me will they show?

The footage of the actual labor and delivery is all fairly legit and straightforward. I was a little disappointed in myself because I didn't prepare well for the natural labor with induction and I panicked. I had a natural delivery with Evan, but it was so quick that I hardly had time to think. I knew this time around, the contractions might be worse and labor would last longer, and I wish I would have done some homework on how to make it through. I don't care that everyone will see me screaming and vulnerable, but I do wish I could have been stronger. There was a moment off camera that I told my mom if not for the tv crew, I'd want an epidural. I wanted to make it through for the viewing audience!

I asked for the epidural, and my midwife asked if she could check me first. I reluctantly agreed, because I had only been at a 5 not long before that. Well I was at a 9 - no wonder I wanted an epidural! I had said before labor started that the moment you think "I CAN'T DO THIS!", you are about to meet your baby, and I forgot that in the moment and totally panicked. The anesthesiologist was there, and suggested she give me just a little something in my IV to take the edge off. She said it would bring me down to a 7 or 8 pain level instead of a 10. I agreed, and it was just what I needed to make it through.

While I am a proponent of natural childbirth for many reasons, I also know that babies do better with happy mommies. I would suggest to anyone thinking about how to labor to study natural methods, do some training (it is like a marathon after all!), and trust your body. Then in the moment, do what you've been training for, but don't be afraid to do what you need or want to do to be comfortable and happy.

So we had such an amazingly fun time with the crew taping us. They were hilarious and made the day of waiting so much better. Even if the show never aired, or I look like a total wacko, it was worth it just to have that uniquely fun experience. The only part I didn't totally love was when they filmed me talking about the labor and delivery in present tense, a week after the fact. In front of a green screen. Wearing a random robe. Not wearing my glasses! It was totally not natural, and I am not an actress, so I am sure I will look and sound very unlike myself in some of that footage. I had to keep starting over trying to use the right tense, and the interviewer would ask me to repeat certain phrases so they could pick and choose for editing. She would say something and I would say it back, over and over different ways, and by the end I hardly even knew what I was saying!

The premiere of the show is tomorrow, so I'll get to see a week's worth of other women's stories before mine comes on. Hopefully that will prepare me for what it might be like! I can't say I've ever seen myself on tv before. It's fun to see my name on the info screen for upcoming shows! We are reality tv stars!