I got a notice from my Outlook program this morning, as I do every Thursday morning. It said "blog about something." Most Thursdays, I just dismiss it and move on with the 8,000 other things I need to do while Noelle is in school. I'm in a "getting things done" mood today, though, so here we go!
Currently Evan is talking in his crib. He's supposed to be napping. Soon he will start to cry, and I'll have to go in there and check his diaper, maybe rock him a bit, convince him to give in to sleep. He was up many times last night screaming, we aren't sure why. He's been doing pretty well with sleep lately, so this was unusual, and we are TIRED today.
Evan is into everything. I feel like all I do is divert him from one thing he shouldn't play with to another, on and on all day. Let's get off the table, Evan. It's dangerous to stand on that overturned bin, Evan. We need to keep the cover on the speaker, Evan. You can't fit behind the couch anymore, Evan, you're going to get stuck. Those are daddy's books, Evan. Leave the lamp plugged in. Don't pull the phone off the shelf! How in the world are you pushing that gate in? Be careful, you're going to break that - again! Please don't turn off the tv. You won't be able to open that closet anymore, Evan, we put a hook and eye on top! Leave Noelle alone, she's in time out. Be gentle with Nacho, please!
Noelle seems to be going through another one of her 15 year old phases. Sassy, argumentative, eye rolling, independent, high drama, and more! The other day she started to hit Evan, then Evan hit her, then she gave him a dirty look, and he gave her one back. I told her "if you don't like what Evan is doing, take a look at yourself, because he's learning it from you." I don't want to say that to myself, but I know it's true about Noelle and me also.
I'm going through a Bible Study at church called Gospel Transformation, and it's both killing me and giving me life. You have to realize what a wretch you are to understand how incredible God is. We first learned about the darkness in our hearts, now we are moving on to how God changes us, mostly through repentance. When I think of repentance, I think of embarrassment, defensiveness, excuses, apologizing for the consequences but not for my sinful self. I'm sorry that you were hurt. Not I'm sorry that I am selfish and judgmental, please forgive me and pray with me. Repentance, though, is God's key to change. It is how he has it set up to give us a new heart, and to bless us. Without true repentance, acknowledging and turning away, we will not unleash the Spirit's power to change us.
So I'm sorry that I am sassy, argumentative, eye rolling, independent, high drama, and more! Forgive me, Noelle, let's pray together for God to change mommy's heart.
Just as I predicted, Evan's started the waterworks. Here we go!
If you see this text then you need to update your flash player.
on March 04 2010 at 10:57 AM
by: Jaime Matthews
Andy asked me to type up a description of the Half.com sales process for a friend of his, and I decided to post it here, as well. I've been selling CD's, DVD's, and books online for us and other people since 2005. If you have zero interest in listing things to sell on Half.com, you'll want to go ahead and skip this one! BORING!
For selling CD's, DVD's, books, or anything with a bar code, my preferred site is Half.com. It is easy to list things on their site as well as manage them. Your inventory will be listed indefinitely until it sells. Half.com takes a cut of 15% of the sale price and gives the rest to you along with the shipping fee that is charged to the customer. I also use Amazon.com, when something is unlistable on Half or is a high value item that I think will sell for more on Amazon. They take 15% of the sale, plus $0.99 on top of that. They also only keep your listings for 60 days, then you have to re-list.
I ship my CD's in padded manila envelopes that I buy in bulk at Sam's Club: http://tinyurl.com/ygfedb3. They easily fit one CD, one DVD, or a small book. I purchased some 9x12" Tyvek envelopes to ship anything that won't fit in the 6x10", such as larger books or multiple CD's. I also keep a roll of bubble wrap for the Tyvek shipments.
I purchased a simple scale at an office supply store to weigh my packages: http://tinyurl.com/yfxp5rx. This saves me from ever having to go to the post office unless a package weighs over 1 lb. At that point, the USPS requires you to bring it inside to them. Most single CD's weigh between 4.5 - 5.7 ounces. For the most recent prices you can look on the USPS website for First Class Mail Retail Parcels. Anything under 7 ounces, it is cheaper to ship First Class than Media Mail. 7 ounces or above, Media Mail is the way to go. I had my own Media Mail stamp made at Office Depot so I wouldn't have to go into the Post Office to get my packages stamped. I don't use it as much anymore - when I first started, Media Mail was the cheapest way to ship, as it really should be.
Once in a while a customer pays for Expedited Shipping. Get some Priority Mail Flat Rate envelopes from the Post Office (free) to keep around for these cases. You can print postage for these online at usps.com, and either schedule a pick up or bring it in to the Post Office.
I buy my stamps at usps.com. I go through their "extra postage" listings to find the right combination for what I need. For instance, the current cost to mail a package between 5 and 6 ounces is $2.07. I buy stamps with a value of $1.00, $0.05, and $0.02 to equal what I need. Media Mail under 1 lb costs $2.38, so for that I need 2-$1.00 stamps, 1-$0.10, and 1-$0.28. You only have to figure it out when the rates change, then you're set until they change them again.
I do not print out a packing list or any receipt to include in my packages, and I never buy insurance. I've sold a whole lot of CD's, and I've only had 1 that didn't reach its destination. A quick refund and you're good to go.
I do not keep track of income and sales for myself, but I do have a spreadsheet of sales I do for friends. On Half.com, I go into the payment history folder and cut and paste into an Excel document. Amazon is more difficult, I haven't found a quick way to get data from sales there. I have columns for Date of Sale, Title, Sell Price, S&H reimbursement, Actual S&H Cost, Half.com's cut, My cut, and my client's cut. Half.com's cut is the Sell Price x 15%. My cut is S&H Reimb - Actual S&H + whatever amount I decide to take, usually $0.50 - $1.00 per item to cover my time and supplies. The client's cut is the Sell Price - Half.com's cut - My extra $0.50 to $1.00 cut.
So this is really long, but it's a pretty simple process once you get into it. I hope that helps!
For selling CD's, DVD's, books, or anything with a bar code, my preferred site is Half.com. It is easy to list things on their site as well as manage them. Your inventory will be listed indefinitely until it sells. Half.com takes a cut of 15% of the sale price and gives the rest to you along with the shipping fee that is charged to the customer. I also use Amazon.com, when something is unlistable on Half or is a high value item that I think will sell for more on Amazon. They take 15% of the sale, plus $0.99 on top of that. They also only keep your listings for 60 days, then you have to re-list.
I ship my CD's in padded manila envelopes that I buy in bulk at Sam's Club: http://tinyurl.com/ygfedb3. They easily fit one CD, one DVD, or a small book. I purchased some 9x12" Tyvek envelopes to ship anything that won't fit in the 6x10", such as larger books or multiple CD's. I also keep a roll of bubble wrap for the Tyvek shipments.
I purchased a simple scale at an office supply store to weigh my packages: http://tinyurl.com/yfxp5rx. This saves me from ever having to go to the post office unless a package weighs over 1 lb. At that point, the USPS requires you to bring it inside to them. Most single CD's weigh between 4.5 - 5.7 ounces. For the most recent prices you can look on the USPS website for First Class Mail Retail Parcels. Anything under 7 ounces, it is cheaper to ship First Class than Media Mail. 7 ounces or above, Media Mail is the way to go. I had my own Media Mail stamp made at Office Depot so I wouldn't have to go into the Post Office to get my packages stamped. I don't use it as much anymore - when I first started, Media Mail was the cheapest way to ship, as it really should be.
Once in a while a customer pays for Expedited Shipping. Get some Priority Mail Flat Rate envelopes from the Post Office (free) to keep around for these cases. You can print postage for these online at usps.com, and either schedule a pick up or bring it in to the Post Office.
I buy my stamps at usps.com. I go through their "extra postage" listings to find the right combination for what I need. For instance, the current cost to mail a package between 5 and 6 ounces is $2.07. I buy stamps with a value of $1.00, $0.05, and $0.02 to equal what I need. Media Mail under 1 lb costs $2.38, so for that I need 2-$1.00 stamps, 1-$0.10, and 1-$0.28. You only have to figure it out when the rates change, then you're set until they change them again.
I do not print out a packing list or any receipt to include in my packages, and I never buy insurance. I've sold a whole lot of CD's, and I've only had 1 that didn't reach its destination. A quick refund and you're good to go.
I do not keep track of income and sales for myself, but I do have a spreadsheet of sales I do for friends. On Half.com, I go into the payment history folder and cut and paste into an Excel document. Amazon is more difficult, I haven't found a quick way to get data from sales there. I have columns for Date of Sale, Title, Sell Price, S&H reimbursement, Actual S&H Cost, Half.com's cut, My cut, and my client's cut. Half.com's cut is the Sell Price x 15%. My cut is S&H Reimb - Actual S&H + whatever amount I decide to take, usually $0.50 - $1.00 per item to cover my time and supplies. The client's cut is the Sell Price - Half.com's cut - My extra $0.50 to $1.00 cut.
So this is really long, but it's a pretty simple process once you get into it. I hope that helps!
on December 18 2009 at 12:54 PM
by: Jaime Matthews
I'm getting ready for Noelle's birthday party tomorrow. It's the first friend birthday party she's ever had. We are always in Chicago or Tampa on her actual birthday, so it's just never happened before. Now she is old enough to care, and has been talking about her party for at least 6 months. She has wanted a beach party, a princess party, a dance party, and so many other variations I can't remember. We've decided on a hula hoop party, details will come tomorrow after it's over!
Cleaning is honestly one of my favorite things to do. It gives me a sense of control and accomplishment to have a room look just like I want, to get rid of a big pile of clutter, to wipe down a messy counter. When I was in high school, I remember many parties where I maybe felt slighted by a boy or a friend (most likely a boy) and headed to the host's kitchen and started washing dishes. I'd go around and collect all the plastic cups and empty plates in a trash bag, put away the game pieces in their respective boxes, and start putting food away. That was my way of gaining back some control, bringing order to what I saw as a messy situation.
Maybe it's not good that I use cleaning to override feelings of neglect. I suppose there are probably better ways to deal with those feelings, but I know there are plenty of worse ways, too! I still use this method a lot, but it's much more difficult with kids under foot messing everything up right after you've cleaned it. Which is why yesterday I started with the office to get ready for the party. The kids are never in there to play. So, no one go in there until Saturday afternoon!
Cleaning is honestly one of my favorite things to do. It gives me a sense of control and accomplishment to have a room look just like I want, to get rid of a big pile of clutter, to wipe down a messy counter. When I was in high school, I remember many parties where I maybe felt slighted by a boy or a friend (most likely a boy) and headed to the host's kitchen and started washing dishes. I'd go around and collect all the plastic cups and empty plates in a trash bag, put away the game pieces in their respective boxes, and start putting food away. That was my way of gaining back some control, bringing order to what I saw as a messy situation.
Maybe it's not good that I use cleaning to override feelings of neglect. I suppose there are probably better ways to deal with those feelings, but I know there are plenty of worse ways, too! I still use this method a lot, but it's much more difficult with kids under foot messing everything up right after you've cleaned it. Which is why yesterday I started with the office to get ready for the party. The kids are never in there to play. So, no one go in there until Saturday afternoon!
So does that you were feeling neglected the year you were in Tanpa and started putting our videos in ABC order?? :")
Carol - December 18, 2009 03:57 pm
Last night I went to bed at 10:30, but when Andy came to bed at 11:45 I was still awake, just laying in the dark. My mind had been full of random thoughts. Noelle's party on Saturday. Evan's health. Christmas presents. I'm cold. Remnants of conversation from a night with my Bible Study girls. None of it was very important, but when Andy realized I was awake I confessed that I had felt cast off by him before bed. I came home from girls night ready to talk, just talking to meet my "word quota" for the day, but he was busy doing work. He listened for a while, but then jumped back into his computer screen while I tried to ramble on. It was hard for me to wind down after that, with words still floating around in my head. Finally I drifted off to sleep, after Andy put 3 blankets over me to remedy the coldness, but one thing that stayed on my mind was this blog.
This had become for me something that I was doing for other people. Grandparents want updates on the kids. Friends are interested in meal plans. Other bloggers do this or that, so maybe I should, too. I've often been told that my best blog posts are the ones that reflect my heart, but if I'm honest, I would say I feel like those moments have been few and far between. There's no time for me to reflect on my heart, I have small kids to raise, a house to clean, work to do! So I was left feeling like maybe there was nothing very valuable to share from my heart. Maybe that's true, but it's also faulty thinking. We heard a speaker at Bible Study last week who made the point that we don't expect our babies to wait until they have something important to say to talk to us, we want to hear every single babble and coo from the first moment! Evan's voice is one of the sweetest sounds I have ever heard, I love hearing him talk to me, and yet he doesn't really say any words. The speaker compared this to how God sees us. He wants to hear from us, even if it's something we don't think is important or even coherent.
So, I'm putting this up here to say that I want to commit to sharing my heart, or my silly thoughts, or maybe something that seems like babbles and coos, and I want to do it for me. I hope that whatever readers I have enjoy it as well, of course! The plan is that I'll be back again tomorrow, and the day after that. Hopefully I will see you again soon!
This had become for me something that I was doing for other people. Grandparents want updates on the kids. Friends are interested in meal plans. Other bloggers do this or that, so maybe I should, too. I've often been told that my best blog posts are the ones that reflect my heart, but if I'm honest, I would say I feel like those moments have been few and far between. There's no time for me to reflect on my heart, I have small kids to raise, a house to clean, work to do! So I was left feeling like maybe there was nothing very valuable to share from my heart. Maybe that's true, but it's also faulty thinking. We heard a speaker at Bible Study last week who made the point that we don't expect our babies to wait until they have something important to say to talk to us, we want to hear every single babble and coo from the first moment! Evan's voice is one of the sweetest sounds I have ever heard, I love hearing him talk to me, and yet he doesn't really say any words. The speaker compared this to how God sees us. He wants to hear from us, even if it's something we don't think is important or even coherent.
So, I'm putting this up here to say that I want to commit to sharing my heart, or my silly thoughts, or maybe something that seems like babbles and coos, and I want to do it for me. I hope that whatever readers I have enjoy it as well, of course! The plan is that I'll be back again tomorrow, and the day after that. Hopefully I will see you again soon!
Thank you Jaime, your babbles and coos have been missed. I agree that not everything we say must be so deep and ultra wise, just talk as if your readers were sitting in your living room with you. I for one love it and will look forward to it each day.
Carol - December 17, 2009 12:06 pm:)
Ariana - December 17, 2009 01:05 pm
One day a man comes home from work to find total mayhem at home. The kids were outside still in their pajamas playing in the mud and muck. There were empty food boxes and wrappers all around. As he proceeded into the house, he found an even bigger mess. Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table, and a small pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing, and a lamp had been knocked over.
He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that something had happened to her.
He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked "what happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what I did today?"
"Yes," was his reply."
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!"
He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she may be ill, or that something had happened to her.
He found her in the bedroom, still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a book. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked "what happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come home from work and ask me what I did today?"
"Yes," was his reply."
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!"
Ah ha ha ha ha! I love it!
Ariana - July 24, 2009 12:49 pm
on May 31 2009 at 09:21 AM
by: Jaime Matthews
I really like cherries. They only come around for a short time, and they are crazy expensive as fruit goes, but they are so good! I never used to buy them, but for the third year in a row I will allow myself to buy as many as I want while they are in season. Two years ago on this day, we lost our daughter Charlotte at 19 weeks of pregnancy. We went in for a routine ultrasound and discovered that she had died, and after a short induction and labor, we held our tiny baby and said hello and goodbye all in just a few minutes time. In my grief, enjoying cherries comforted my soul just a tiny bit, and now when I see them come back to the grocery store I remember my little girl. Not that I need help to remember her, but it's nice to have something outside of myself that brings Charlotte to mind. It makes her that much more real to me, when sometimes it all seems like it was a dream. So for you, Charlotte, I will enjoy all I can of this special fruit while it lasts, because you taught me that it's important to enjoy the people and things you love while they are with you. I am quite sure that we will share a bowl of cherries when we see each other again in Heaven.
Today is also our wedding anniversary, six years ago today Andy and I got married! Which means that six years and 5 months ago we started dating! It all happened fast, too fast in the eyes of some (I'm talking to you, random woman at my bridal shower), but I think it's turned out pretty great. We have had our ups and downs, to be sure, some brought on by life, some by ourselves, but we are still learning and growing together in love. We enjoyed an anniversary dinner last night at a local restaurant called Watanabe, followed by a walk around 5 Points here in East Nashville. There are a lot of things that have changed about me since meeting Andy, one of which is my sense of adventure when it comes to food. Growing up I was convinced my mom was trying to make me eat alligator when she served salisbury steak, and while I still wouldn't eat alligator, I will try almost any non-meat food and like most of it. I am nowhere near as adventuresome as Andy would like, but I think he's proud of the way his tastes have rubbed off on me. Marriage has turned into a greater compromise in some areas than I think either of us ever thought it would be, but in that, we have both been stretched to truly expand and grow, and I know that I at least am better off for it.
May 31 will probably always be a bittersweet day, but I am grateful for both my daughter and my husband, both of whom will be in my life forever here and in eternity. Happy Birthday, Charlotte, and Happy Anniversary, Andy! I love you!
Happy Anniversary AND happy Charlotte. I wish you gladness in remembering and looking forward to seeing her again!
Ariana - June 02, 2009 09:09 pmI love you baby. I AM proud of your taste changes, and your willingness to try new things. I think I'll be able to die when you finally agree to try fish, but until then we can live together happily, and I can watch you eat cherries until your "fat pants split".
andy matthews - June 05, 2009 10:07 am
Happy Mother's Day!
We took some pictures in honor of the day, modeled after one we took of us with Noelle when she was one year old. It's hard to get a baby to look at the camera when it's on a timer with no one to call their attention. It's apparently also hard to get a 3 year old to look at the camera, even when M&M's are on the line. Oh well, that's a fine example of our life right now. You can try and try, but you just aren't going to get things to go exactly the way you want when you have kids in the mix. Maybe the kids are looking at the camera but they have crusted food on their mouths. Maybe your baby spits up carrots on your shirt right before the picture so it's darker in one area.
But that's all part of being a mother, right? We cannot do the job perfectly, we can only try, and ask God to help us do better tomorrow. One of my friends recently posted her Facebook status as "is ready for new mercies." I had to give an AMEN to that, because some days I really feel like I have utterly failed as a mother. Like Thursday, when Noelle was holding a ceramic potted paper flower she (her teachers) had made for me at school that day. She had pulled all the moss off the top and threw it around my car, and I was angry that she destroyed yet another craft project and made a mess of my car. I yelled, "If you don't care about it, neither do I!" and threw it onto the carport floor, shattering the pot. Awesome motherhood moment. And yet later that day, I said to Noelle, "sometimes I'm not a very good Mommy," and she sort of laughed and said, "yes you are!" New mercies, and I didn't even have to wait until morning.
Being a mom has provided many opportunities for me to partake of God's mercy, and I am so thankful it is always there! I can only pray that as I lean deeper into relationship with Jesus, my children see more of Him and less of me in the way I parent. I am happy to be a mother, and I am full of joy because I am a mother that is a child of God. I have access to all the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control I will ever need in a day, and I only have to ask my Father. May I remember that the next time my buttons threaten to be pushed by my children. Which is right now, Evan is crying and Noelle keeps getting out of bed! Lord, help me!
that picture just reminds me what a pleasure it was to meet and talk with you both in nashville, whiskerino 07.
joshua - May 11, 2009 07:44 am
Retreat: an act or process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable.
In the morning I am leaving for our church's annual women's retreat. It starts tonight, but because Evan isn't always willing to take a bottle, I didn't want to leave him for 2 nights. He has been giving us some grief lately, waking up 3-4 times most nights and only sometimes going back to sleep without eating. At 5:15 this morning, when he wanted me to feed him for the 3rd time and Andy and I were beyond irritated, I thought about making the decision to stay home from the retreat. How was Andy going to handle this without the option of me feeding him? What if, like last night, Evan won't take a bottle? I was disappointed, but I thought there was no way around it.
Then today happened, and I didn't get even a minute to myself between taking care of the kids. I got drooled on and spit up on a ridiculous amount of times, I was falling asleep every time I sat down to feed Evan, and I realized I just need to go. He will be FINE. He's not like Noelle who absolutely refused the bottle. He's just very slow to warm up to it, and that is okay for the under 30 hours I'll be gone. I need a day where my clothes stay dry! It will be great to get away from the sometimes difficult and more often disagreeable experience of being a mom and spend time with just me and God. And of course in fellowship with other women, which is always a great thing.
Tonight Noelle was doing something I had told her not to, and having skipped her nap today she was a little more dramatic than usual. She started to cry and ran off to her bedroom, and she threw herself down on her bed. When I went in a minute later to check on her, I noticed that she had obviously thrown herself face first onto her pillow. I just had to take a picture because it was so funny to see her tear print in the shape of a sad face. 30 hours without that kind of drama will do me some good.
Today was rough. Mondays have never been a favorite of mine, ever since my youngest days at school. Now that I am a stay at home mom, I almost dislike them even more if that's possible. We rarely have anything planned, and wide open days with Noelle and Mommy almost always equal lots of tears and yelling. Looking back, I honestly don't think Noelle made one good choice today, and frankly I didn't either. Days like this leave me feeling pretty crushed, convicted, and sometimes hopeless.
In the midst of all the strife of today, I learned a very important lesson from Noelle. I had just severely yelled at her for something and stormed out of the room, and she came in moments later offering me a pretend cup of blueberry juice. I said to her, "Noelle, why do you even WANT to play with me? All I've been doing is yelling at you all day!" She shrugged her shoulders and said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Because I love you."
Right then God spoke to me, "That is how I feel about you."
My community group has been studying the book of Jonah, and I don't think I had ever truly read his story. I knew Jonah did not want to do what God asked, but I did not understand the lengths he went to to avoid doing so. I didn't understand that his reason for not wanting to go was that he didn't think the people of Nineveh deserved God's mercy, and he did not want God offering it to them, especially not through him. When we started studying Jonah I thought, "wow, there is no one that I hate SO much that I wouldn't even want them to be saved." Today I realized it is about more than salvation.
When someone wrongs me, like I felt Noelle did today, I have a hard time letting it go. It's not so much that I hold a grudge, but I do hold on to the bad feeling for a long time. I talked to Andy during the day about how rough it was, and he suggested going to a place that has a bunch of inflatables to play around on. I said no, Noelle did not deserve to have something like that after the day we'd had. I barely even wanted to talk to her, and basically punished her by ignoring her for the better part of the day. Now I realize that when I am not willing to offer mercy, which can only come from God, I am saying I don't want that person to experience God's mercy.
Jonah did finally obey, albeit reluctantly, but he continued to be angry with God for showing mercy to the people of Nineveh. God desires for us to "do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God" (Micah 6:8). He wants me to LOVE to offer His mercy to others. He loves to offer mercy to us. Over and over I sin against God, and yet He still desires to be with me. Even as I run from Him, God actively pursues me, as He did Jonah and as Noelle did for me today. "Because I love you."
Lord, help me to more deeply understand your mercy. Thank you for speaking through Noelle today to remind me of the kind of parent you are. You offer mercy even in the midst of blatant disobedience. Your discipline can come in the form of storms and near drowning and hot sun, but it is always given hand in hand with calming of the storm, protection from drowning, and shade from the sun. Help me to remember you when I desire to withhold mercy, so that your mercy spills out of me. None of us deserve your mercy, but it is free to us anyway in spite of our sin. Change my attitude, Lord. I pray that I can become more like my child, offering love even when love hasn't been given. Help me to love your mercy as I see you pour it onto those I might say do not deserve it. I know I am one of those, and I am forever grateful that you are such a good Dad and patient teacher.
In the midst of all the strife of today, I learned a very important lesson from Noelle. I had just severely yelled at her for something and stormed out of the room, and she came in moments later offering me a pretend cup of blueberry juice. I said to her, "Noelle, why do you even WANT to play with me? All I've been doing is yelling at you all day!" She shrugged her shoulders and said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Because I love you."
Right then God spoke to me, "That is how I feel about you."
My community group has been studying the book of Jonah, and I don't think I had ever truly read his story. I knew Jonah did not want to do what God asked, but I did not understand the lengths he went to to avoid doing so. I didn't understand that his reason for not wanting to go was that he didn't think the people of Nineveh deserved God's mercy, and he did not want God offering it to them, especially not through him. When we started studying Jonah I thought, "wow, there is no one that I hate SO much that I wouldn't even want them to be saved." Today I realized it is about more than salvation.
When someone wrongs me, like I felt Noelle did today, I have a hard time letting it go. It's not so much that I hold a grudge, but I do hold on to the bad feeling for a long time. I talked to Andy during the day about how rough it was, and he suggested going to a place that has a bunch of inflatables to play around on. I said no, Noelle did not deserve to have something like that after the day we'd had. I barely even wanted to talk to her, and basically punished her by ignoring her for the better part of the day. Now I realize that when I am not willing to offer mercy, which can only come from God, I am saying I don't want that person to experience God's mercy.
Jonah did finally obey, albeit reluctantly, but he continued to be angry with God for showing mercy to the people of Nineveh. God desires for us to "do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God" (Micah 6:8). He wants me to LOVE to offer His mercy to others. He loves to offer mercy to us. Over and over I sin against God, and yet He still desires to be with me. Even as I run from Him, God actively pursues me, as He did Jonah and as Noelle did for me today. "Because I love you."
Lord, help me to more deeply understand your mercy. Thank you for speaking through Noelle today to remind me of the kind of parent you are. You offer mercy even in the midst of blatant disobedience. Your discipline can come in the form of storms and near drowning and hot sun, but it is always given hand in hand with calming of the storm, protection from drowning, and shade from the sun. Help me to remember you when I desire to withhold mercy, so that your mercy spills out of me. None of us deserve your mercy, but it is free to us anyway in spite of our sin. Change my attitude, Lord. I pray that I can become more like my child, offering love even when love hasn't been given. Help me to love your mercy as I see you pour it onto those I might say do not deserve it. I know I am one of those, and I am forever grateful that you are such a good Dad and patient teacher.
I seriously appreciate this transparency. Thanks for putting it out there.
Joshua - February 24, 2009 08:20 amIt's funny that I should read this today. My night last night when from me being in a really good mood to me being in a foul mood because I felt like A & B both were disrespectful at bedtime. Looking back, they were pretty small things that set me off, but the way I FELT at the time was that they didn't love me enough to obey or respect me. I was thinking this morning that I don't sin because I don't love God. Now, it might be that I don't respect him like I should or I wouldn't sin. But it helped me to see how I was letting my emotions take over. My daughters do love me, even though they fail me. I think I'm just quick to think they don't because I feel I often don't deserve it.
Shannon - February 24, 2009 09:51 amJaime, what a great story. Thank you for sharing. It is amazing what parenting teaches us about our relationship with God, isn't it?
Heather - February 24, 2009 12:08 pmGreat thoughts, Jaime!
Mindy - February 24, 2009 12:52 pmChildren teach us such basic truths in the simplest ways. I guess that is why God said that we must become like little children. The saying "out of the mouths of babes..." is so very true. Jaime, you have such a way with words!
Carol - February 24, 2009 06:52 pmYou have such a beautiful heart to know God more deeply. I cried when I read this. I hope I'm as willing to be taught!
Ariana - February 25, 2009 07:28 am
Last week at Bible Study, we were talking about clothes. Before the study started, of course, because we never go off topic! Anyway, one of the ladies mentioned that it seems like since she had a baby, all of her shirts are too short. I couldn't believe it, I had noticed the same thing about my shirts! I had not connected it to having babies, but since she said that, I definitely agree with the timing. What could cause this phenomenon? There are a few different factors that could be at play.
1. Our bodies are not the same. Clothes definitely do not fit the same as they used to. Nursing can explain a tiny bit of the shirt shortening, but not all these women are nursing, so it isn't all because of THAT. And it can't all be because of gained weight, because we had all lost the baby weight, too.
2. We don't have time to take proper care of our laundry, so the shirts have literally shrunk. This would make sense if they were smaller all over, but for me at least, they are mostly just shorter.
3. Styles have changed since before we had babies, and we just haven't bought new clothes. If Target and Old Navy are any indication, long shirts are definitely 'in' right now. I can't buy anything from those stores because they are not only long, but tight as well, and tightness over my stomach and waist area has never looked good on me, especially not post-baby. Some of my clothes were bought during college, but I have some from after Noelle or even after Charlotte, because my shirts were too short back then, and they are also too short now.
4. The shirts were always too short, but we're just now realizing it. This was definitely the case with men's shorts back in the 70's and 80's. It took a few "accidental" losses at the laundromat for my mom to weed all of those out of my dad's closet!
5. It's a mental thing, because maternity shirts are soooo long, and so we get used to that length. Possible.
Whatever the cause, I have a lot of shirts that are headed to the donation pile, and that means it's time to hit the stores! I guess this isn't that bad of a phenomenon after all! Now if I could just find some time to go shopping...
1. Our bodies are not the same. Clothes definitely do not fit the same as they used to. Nursing can explain a tiny bit of the shirt shortening, but not all these women are nursing, so it isn't all because of THAT. And it can't all be because of gained weight, because we had all lost the baby weight, too.
2. We don't have time to take proper care of our laundry, so the shirts have literally shrunk. This would make sense if they were smaller all over, but for me at least, they are mostly just shorter.
3. Styles have changed since before we had babies, and we just haven't bought new clothes. If Target and Old Navy are any indication, long shirts are definitely 'in' right now. I can't buy anything from those stores because they are not only long, but tight as well, and tightness over my stomach and waist area has never looked good on me, especially not post-baby. Some of my clothes were bought during college, but I have some from after Noelle or even after Charlotte, because my shirts were too short back then, and they are also too short now.
4. The shirts were always too short, but we're just now realizing it. This was definitely the case with men's shorts back in the 70's and 80's. It took a few "accidental" losses at the laundromat for my mom to weed all of those out of my dad's closet!
5. It's a mental thing, because maternity shirts are soooo long, and so we get used to that length. Possible.
Whatever the cause, I have a lot of shirts that are headed to the donation pile, and that means it's time to hit the stores! I guess this isn't that bad of a phenomenon after all! Now if I could just find some time to go shopping...
I have a pair of jeans that I bought right before I got married. I recently tried on the jeans and was surprised that I could get them on, despite the fact that I weigh ten pounds more than when I got married. My conclusion is that I am now carrying this extra weight in my upper body in various places when I used to gain weight in my lower body. I would say pregnancy definitely changed my body. Oh, and I have the same problem with too-short shirts!
Natalie - December 10, 2008 04:26 pmI am still wearing my maternity shirts because my regular clothes are all to short/tight/given to goodwill. As for shopping, I just bought 2 pairs of chord pants online. Who has time for shopping!?
Ariana - December 10, 2008 09:42 pm
Oh you know I looked cool at the grocery store just now. Wearing my baby, using my reusable bags, buying organic fruit and milk and flaxseed bread. Do you think the Snickers bar in my cart ruined the image?
I totally understand. :) I'm an avid recycler, baby-wearer, energy conservationist, bring my own bags to the store, etc. ... and I drive a mini-van that gets about 13-miles to the gallon and take super-long showers and baths. (I am trying to convince my husband that we need a new HE washer and dryer, though!)
Lexa Herbert - November 20, 2008 09:55 amA snickers never ruins the image. There's nuts in there! And hey, nuts are good for you. And Chocolate is all natural. And caramel, well that's butter and sugar. Natural things. (I can rationalize ANY candy bar :) ) Love the image by the way.
Ariana - November 20, 2008 12:24 pm
on November 12 2008 at 01:58 PM
by: Andy Matthews
Just wanted to throw out a quick update on our family...
Jaime, Noelle, and I are finally over our respective sicknesses and feeling better. Evan is back to sleeping better. You might know that for his first three weeks, he was only waking up an average of once a night. Well, Jaime and I earned that once a night from having to deal with Noelle's sleep vagaries for over a year. Problem is that we got used to it, and then he started waking up more than once, and not going back to sleep after eating. After seeing how much he weighed at his last cardiologist appt (11.4 pounds, the chunk) we just attributed it to a growth spurt.
Some of you might know that our entire yard is (was, but I'll get to that in a minute) a disaster area. It was uneven, and bumpy, and full of weeds. We finally worked it into our budget to have the yard redone. Jaime and I hired a local company to kill our grass in both the front and side yards. They then came in with a Bobcat and leveled out the whole thing, as well as cut a spot right by the driveway which can be used as a parking area for visitors. They then seeded the area and layed down straw to help the seeds germinate. Lastly, they tore up our horrible sidewalk and replaced it with fresh, new concrete.
I've been watering it now for over 2 weeks and we're finally starting to get grass coming back in. It's like a beautiful bird who's just gone through the first stages of molting. They look terrible while it's happening, but you just know what it will look like after it's all said and done.
Jaime, Noelle, and I are finally over our respective sicknesses and feeling better. Evan is back to sleeping better. You might know that for his first three weeks, he was only waking up an average of once a night. Well, Jaime and I earned that once a night from having to deal with Noelle's sleep vagaries for over a year. Problem is that we got used to it, and then he started waking up more than once, and not going back to sleep after eating. After seeing how much he weighed at his last cardiologist appt (11.4 pounds, the chunk) we just attributed it to a growth spurt.
Some of you might know that our entire yard is (was, but I'll get to that in a minute) a disaster area. It was uneven, and bumpy, and full of weeds. We finally worked it into our budget to have the yard redone. Jaime and I hired a local company to kill our grass in both the front and side yards. They then came in with a Bobcat and leveled out the whole thing, as well as cut a spot right by the driveway which can be used as a parking area for visitors. They then seeded the area and layed down straw to help the seeds germinate. Lastly, they tore up our horrible sidewalk and replaced it with fresh, new concrete.
I've been watering it now for over 2 weeks and we're finally starting to get grass coming back in. It's like a beautiful bird who's just gone through the first stages of molting. They look terrible while it's happening, but you just know what it will look like after it's all said and done.
on September 05 2008 at 08:05 PM
by: Jaime Matthews
We are just 5 weeks away from "ReagEv's" due date, and at this moment I wish it were today. Well, maybe not today, because Andy is out of town at a conference and he definitely needs to be here. But when I think about another 5 weeks of this baby pushing me around from the inside, making it difficult for me to do the things I need to do, and causing me to sit down on a display of dog food at the store (as happened tonight) because I feel nauseated, it seems like a long time.
On the other hand, when I think we haven't yet pulled the car seat or any of the baby clothes out, we haven't bought any diapers, we haven't washed the bassinet cover, we haven't really done ANYTHING, I am glad we have at least a few more weeks to get ready! And it's not like it's going to be any easier on the other side. I'll just have different aches and pains, and I'll be sitting on the dog food because I'm so dang tired. And as for the things I need to do? My list will be trimmed down to one thing for a while - take care of my kiddos.
I've started thinking about how it will be to have two, and what impact it will have on my relationship with Noelle. We're struggling at times right now, going back and forth between "you're the best Mommy ever" and "I don't want to talk to you." I read an article that said moms and toddlers argue on average 20 times per hour, and as many as 55. No wonder I'm so exhausted! Noelle is already asking us to treat her like a baby in some ways, even as far as asking for the "other part" of her bed, meaning the part that makes it a crib. We were anticipating that possibility after the baby comes, but not before. She is full of surprises.
My hopes for the next 5 weeks are:
- Get our kitchen finished (should be Sept 15)
- Have a maid come out and do a pre-baby full house cleaning
- Obviously get all the baby stuff out and ready
- Get as much sleep as possible
- Make sure Andy packs his bag BEFORE I go into labor, unlike last time
I'm sure I'll think of a lot more, but right now I think I'll focus on that one about sleep...
On the other hand, when I think we haven't yet pulled the car seat or any of the baby clothes out, we haven't bought any diapers, we haven't washed the bassinet cover, we haven't really done ANYTHING, I am glad we have at least a few more weeks to get ready! And it's not like it's going to be any easier on the other side. I'll just have different aches and pains, and I'll be sitting on the dog food because I'm so dang tired. And as for the things I need to do? My list will be trimmed down to one thing for a while - take care of my kiddos.
I've started thinking about how it will be to have two, and what impact it will have on my relationship with Noelle. We're struggling at times right now, going back and forth between "you're the best Mommy ever" and "I don't want to talk to you." I read an article that said moms and toddlers argue on average 20 times per hour, and as many as 55. No wonder I'm so exhausted! Noelle is already asking us to treat her like a baby in some ways, even as far as asking for the "other part" of her bed, meaning the part that makes it a crib. We were anticipating that possibility after the baby comes, but not before. She is full of surprises.
My hopes for the next 5 weeks are:
- Get our kitchen finished (should be Sept 15)
- Have a maid come out and do a pre-baby full house cleaning
- Obviously get all the baby stuff out and ready
- Get as much sleep as possible
- Make sure Andy packs his bag BEFORE I go into labor, unlike last time
I'm sure I'll think of a lot more, but right now I think I'll focus on that one about sleep...
Let me know if you need any help. I'll be glad to help wash clothes or get things clean and ready for the baby (like you can ever really be ready. ha!). Natalie
Natalie - September 05, 2008 07:37 pmI'm here at the conference thinking of you babes. Sorry you're not feeling good.
Andy Matthews - September 06, 2008 09:24 amJackson has been saying things like, "Oh no I'm not" after we warn him about a punishment he will receive if continues a behavior. The other day, I said, "Yes you will and I don't argue with 4 year olds." He said, "Oh yes you do!" ARGH! He also goes from "You're my best mama in the whole wide world" to "YOU'RE NOT MY BEST MAMA AT ALL!!" I just try to tell him that he's my best Jackson even when he drives me crazy : ) Thinking of you and praying for you in these final weeks!
Mindy - September 08, 2008 07:17 pm
This week Andy reminded me of a game website that I used to go to all the time back when I was working. The job I had didn't keep me very busy, so I spent lots of time finding free online games to play and trying to master them. One of my favorites was the bee game. Andy actually mentioned this game back in December 2003 on our website, saying I got a high score of 22,460.
Well folks, today I got 34,820. Take that, bee game! If you find yourself in a situation that affords you a lot of free time, check out orisinal.com to find some fun little games. Some of our favorites (besides Bubble Bees) are Sunny Day Sky, Bugs, The Runaway Train, and Snowbowling.
Well folks, today I got 34,820. Take that, bee game! If you find yourself in a situation that affords you a lot of free time, check out orisinal.com to find some fun little games. Some of our favorites (besides Bubble Bees) are Sunny Day Sky, Bugs, The Runaway Train, and Snowbowling.
When I was growing up, I never wanted to go to school on Monday. I had a stomach ache or a headache or some other kind of ailment pretty much every Monday morning. I hated school, for the most part. I wasn't challenged, I didn't enjoy being with the other kids, and I just wanted to stay in bed!
Now that I'm a mom, I feel the same way. I don't want to go to work on Mondays. I always wake up wishing it was a school day for Noelle. I just want a chance to recoup from the weekend, get the house back in order, and SLEEP. Especially being this pregnant, it takes a lot to roll my big belly out of bed and get going. Andy said the other day that it's too bad I don't like coffee because I'd be a good candidate for its wake up power. Maybe I should try a little harder to like it, because I doubt that me and Mondays are ever going to get along.
Now that I'm a mom, I feel the same way. I don't want to go to work on Mondays. I always wake up wishing it was a school day for Noelle. I just want a chance to recoup from the weekend, get the house back in order, and SLEEP. Especially being this pregnant, it takes a lot to roll my big belly out of bed and get going. Andy said the other day that it's too bad I don't like coffee because I'd be a good candidate for its wake up power. Maybe I should try a little harder to like it, because I doubt that me and Mondays are ever going to get along.
We need get a mocchachino machine for the house. Some coffee mixed with chocolate would be good for you.
Andy Matthews - July 21, 2008 11:21 am
I have to admit that I get really tired of my child's imagination sometimes. The amount of time I spend speeding up the car because a dragon is behind us, rolling down the window at a stop sign so she can pet a hippo, making up activities me and the monster I'm leading out of her room at naptime are going to do, eating invisible food, and especially being told I'm doing it *the wrong way* is more than I ever thought possible. It is all so real to her, though. This morning she went to get her baby doll a snack in the living room, and when she got out there a song was on tv. She ran back to me in the bedroom and held out her empty hand, saying, "Can you take this for baby? I'm going to go to the living room to dance." I couldn't believe that her imaginary snack had so much importance to her that she had to deliver it before stopping to dance.
Don't get me wrong, I love that she is creative. I guess the imagination itself is not what sometimes wears me thin, it's more that I have to have a role in it. I would love for her to imagine all day long if I didn't have to do it, too. It's just been so long since I imagined. A friend of mine suggested that I use a technique from improv comedy to handle imagination, which is to "accept and further." Accept that what Noelle is saying is true, and take it up one more step to add to the story. That really does work for the most part, if I'm doing it purely for fun and not with an agenda. I guess that most of us just lose that ability to look beyond what is really there and imagine what could be.
I'm in a Bible study going through the book "Strong Women, Soft Hearts" and the chapters we've read so far talk about how we lose our passion and our hearts because of pain and other life experiences. I tend to not try things or put myself out there often because I fear failure or rejection, among other things. Pain is a part of all of our lives, and it is only when we begin to accept it as our companion that we can have true joy and peace. Today in my group we talked about how God pursues our hearts, and how it makes us feel that he cares for us in that way. I shared that I so often try to protect my heart by not letting it carry me away, but although that might help me hold onto every piece of my heart, it's a dead heart that I'm holding. Whether we choose to give our heart away to follow a dream, and risk failure, or we choose to "protect" it by keeping it locked up, we are going to lose heart either way. God desires for us to give Him our heart, and promises that we will be even more wholly ourselves if we do so. He wants us to be fully ourselves and fully alive, the way he created us to be. Only through pouring our heart out to Him can we be our true selves, and do and be what He planned for us.
The author writes that if you follow your tears, what causes you pain or stirs passion inside of you, you will find what is dear to God and how you should live your life. When you are raising children, it can be easy to just put off your dreams until "later." When they go to school, maybe I'll do something for myself. God wants me to realize, though, that my life is now, and he desires for me to live it. Being a stay at home mom is not just a thing to get through. God never gets tired of my imagination, in fact He has dreams that are so much bigger than mine I can't comprehend them. His call for us to be childlike in our faith is something I hope to understand more every day that I spend with Noelle. I hope she never stops imagining.
Dear Jaime, I had been up most of last night "wrestling" with God. I have experienced quite a few major changes in my life in the past year and a half. Your line from the book you are studying about pain robbing us of our passion and our hearts were words from God for me. I have lost my passion for what I am doing and am at a loss as to what passion I do have. It has left me feeling very out of sorts and am seeking counseling to figure out how to get my passion back. I have been praying about it, but know I am not totally surrendering myself to God in this regard. Just wanted to let you know what a God incident that my searching for a music program in Florida somehow brought up your website/blog whatever this is. It is so wonderful that you have created this website as I know it must be a wonderful combination of journaling, creativity and a tool to help you have an attitude of gratitude for the blessings you have received - especially through your daughter. I'm assuming you screen your comments and am just fine that this not be posted for public view. Just wanted to thank you for sharing what you did today. Peace and God's continued blessings to you.
Suzanne - June 26, 2008 07:53 am
So I'm up at 3 AM. I'm hoping this is a fluke and not the beginning of pregnancy insomnia already, something I *so enjoyed* with Noelle in the third trimester. I did get a lot of e-mailing and work done in those early morning hours, but really, I would rather sleep! People try to tell you that this is your body's way of preparing you for taking care of a new baby. I say that's C-R-A-P. If my body really wanted to help me out, it would let me sleep as much as possible up to delivery day. You don't ever get used to sleep deprivation. Believe me, having a child who didn't sleep through the night for 13 months, I know.
It doesn't help that I'm feeling tired anyway, even though I had a nice relaxing weekend in Tulsa with Beth and Mike Arroyo. I got to sleep in, didn't have a toddler to take care of, went out to eat, and spent some great time with wonderful people. It was an excellent getaway, that just happened to be capped off by a terrible evening at a really awful airport. As it was, I left Tulsa at 5:30 PM then had a scheduled 3 hour layover in Kansas City. I wasn't going to get home until 11:10, which is already a good hour or so past my usual bedtime. When I got to KC, I looked on the screen for my gate number and saw that instead of "on time", it said "11:30" next to my flight. WHA? Apparently some weather on the east coast caused basically every flight in the airport to be about 2 hours delayed. And that airport is so weirdly layed out, and so lacking in the food department, it was not a great place to be for 5 hours. Most of it was closed anyway, I guess because it was Sunday night and they hate me. My back hurt terribly, my legs started to hurt as they do when I'm tired, and by the time I finally landed in Nashville at 1 AM, I was sobbing. Andy had to bring Noelle with him to get me, luckily she could care less about sleep and loved to be up in the middle of the night.
This mom gig (pre and post birth) has definitely put a large cramp in my sleeping style. I will definitely say, though, that even on the days that I don't know how I'm going to make it through, it's totally worth it. Noelle is an amazing child, so funny, smart, polite, and creative. I'd rather be losing sleep because I'm taking care of her than for any other reason. And I'm sure I'll lose sleep when she's older for much different reasons! So for now, I will just grin and bear it, and relish hearing her say "I love you, too."
It doesn't help that I'm feeling tired anyway, even though I had a nice relaxing weekend in Tulsa with Beth and Mike Arroyo. I got to sleep in, didn't have a toddler to take care of, went out to eat, and spent some great time with wonderful people. It was an excellent getaway, that just happened to be capped off by a terrible evening at a really awful airport. As it was, I left Tulsa at 5:30 PM then had a scheduled 3 hour layover in Kansas City. I wasn't going to get home until 11:10, which is already a good hour or so past my usual bedtime. When I got to KC, I looked on the screen for my gate number and saw that instead of "on time", it said "11:30" next to my flight. WHA? Apparently some weather on the east coast caused basically every flight in the airport to be about 2 hours delayed. And that airport is so weirdly layed out, and so lacking in the food department, it was not a great place to be for 5 hours. Most of it was closed anyway, I guess because it was Sunday night and they hate me. My back hurt terribly, my legs started to hurt as they do when I'm tired, and by the time I finally landed in Nashville at 1 AM, I was sobbing. Andy had to bring Noelle with him to get me, luckily she could care less about sleep and loved to be up in the middle of the night.
This mom gig (pre and post birth) has definitely put a large cramp in my sleeping style. I will definitely say, though, that even on the days that I don't know how I'm going to make it through, it's totally worth it. Noelle is an amazing child, so funny, smart, polite, and creative. I'd rather be losing sleep because I'm taking care of her than for any other reason. And I'm sure I'll lose sleep when she's older for much different reasons! So for now, I will just grin and bear it, and relish hearing her say "I love you, too."
Today we are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary, as well as the 1 year anniversary of the day Charlotte was born. Celebrate almost seems like the wrong word when thinking about Charlotte, but after looking it up in the dictionary I think it's just right. The definition of celebrate is "to observe a day or commemorate an event with ceremonies or festivities", or "to make known publicly; proclaim." It comes from the Latin word celebrare, which means "to solemnize, celebrate, honor," but also "to frequent, to fill together." Times of celebration remind us that we are part of a community, we are not going through this life alone.
An article I read online today said that celebration "fulfills a human need in two ways. First, we all have the need to escape the pressures of everyday life and the responsibilities which absorb so much of our time. We need to distance ourselves from this pressure in order to grasp the depth and fullness of daily life. Second, celebration allows us to enter into a more profound communion with the social groups that define us. Our relationships define each one of us as a social entity and help to integrate us more fully into the body to which we belong."
As I get older I find myself caring less about my birthday, Mother's Day, and all those other holidays that put the focus on me. I tell myself that although a break from responsibility and recognition of the day are appreciated, I don't need anything. What I forget, though, is that God created us to need each other. He made all believers a family, brothers and sisters, and His son prayed many times that we would be one as the trinity is one.
The same article referenced this passage in the Bible:
Now the company of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things which he had possessed was his own, but they had everything in common ... There was not a needy person among them, for as many were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles' feet, and distribution was made to each as any had need (Acts 4:32, 34-35).
I'm not necessarily suggesting that I'd like to go back to communal living, but there was a lot of good in that way of life. We try to do entirely too much on our own, and we're all frazzled as a result. This has lended itself to us having a much harder time understanding the concept of dependence on God. We can do for ourselves what needs to be done, we're told to take control of our own lives, set boundaries, get as much out of this life as we can. All of that is well and good, but it too often sacrifices community in favor of "personal growth."
The author also wrote that "those who champion individualism think of freedom as the absence of interference from outside forces. In contrast, ...think of freedom as the ability to make our lives a gift through which we deepen our relationship with the community. A person is a being-in-relationship, and to exist is to be in a relationship. To deny relationality is to hover on the brink of non-being. But the more we belong to one another--the more we are able to make ourselves a gift--the more fully we exist."
What does all of this have to do with Charlotte? When she died one year ago, I had a choice. I could have shut down, kept it inside, let it alienate me and weaken my faith. Or, I could see it through God's eyes, and ask "to what end." Andy and I decided from the first moment we saw Charlotte's little body on the ultrasound screen with no heart beating that this had to be something that drew us closer together and closer to God, or what was the point in the suffering? I had to allow myself to need my friends and family, even though it was really hard at times. I saw all of those people coming together to surround us in prayer, fill our refrigerator, care for Noelle, and help me grieve, and it reminded me that I was not alone.
I have always believed that it is best to share my struggles openly instead of keeping them locked away, and many times people have thanked me for my candor. They often open up themselves afterward, and a depth is added to our friendship that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. When I read the part of the definition of celebration that said, "to make known publicly; proclaim," my first thought was of my committment to claim Charlotte as my child to everyone I meet. I don't often let an opportunity pass me by to say that I have another daughter. Noelle knows her sister's name, and knows that she is in heaven. Every time I share her story, I am celebrating her existence, her role in my life. I am thankful to her for teaching me about reliance on God and others, and for giving me an opportunity to build deeper relationships with those in my community. Happy Birthday, Charlotte Mae Matthews. Your mommy loves you and will be with you again someday.
An article I read online today said that celebration "fulfills a human need in two ways. First, we all have the need to escape the pressures of everyday life and the responsibilities which absorb so much of our time. We need to distance ourselves from this pressure in order to grasp the depth and fullness of daily life. Second, celebration allows us to enter into a more profound communion with the social groups that define us. Our relationships define each one of us as a social entity and help to integrate us more fully into the body to which we belong."
As I get older I find myself caring less about my birthday, Mother's Day, and all those other holidays that put the focus on me. I tell myself that although a break from responsibility and recognition of the day are appreciated, I don't need anything. What I forget, though, is that God created us to need each other. He made all believers a family, brothers and sisters, and His son prayed many times that we would be one as the trinity is one.
The same article referenced this passage in the Bible:
Now the company of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things which he had possessed was his own, but they had everything in common ... There was not a needy person among them, for as many were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles' feet, and distribution was made to each as any had need (Acts 4:32, 34-35).
I'm not necessarily suggesting that I'd like to go back to communal living, but there was a lot of good in that way of life. We try to do entirely too much on our own, and we're all frazzled as a result. This has lended itself to us having a much harder time understanding the concept of dependence on God. We can do for ourselves what needs to be done, we're told to take control of our own lives, set boundaries, get as much out of this life as we can. All of that is well and good, but it too often sacrifices community in favor of "personal growth."
The author also wrote that "those who champion individualism think of freedom as the absence of interference from outside forces. In contrast, ...think of freedom as the ability to make our lives a gift through which we deepen our relationship with the community. A person is a being-in-relationship, and to exist is to be in a relationship. To deny relationality is to hover on the brink of non-being. But the more we belong to one another--the more we are able to make ourselves a gift--the more fully we exist."
What does all of this have to do with Charlotte? When she died one year ago, I had a choice. I could have shut down, kept it inside, let it alienate me and weaken my faith. Or, I could see it through God's eyes, and ask "to what end." Andy and I decided from the first moment we saw Charlotte's little body on the ultrasound screen with no heart beating that this had to be something that drew us closer together and closer to God, or what was the point in the suffering? I had to allow myself to need my friends and family, even though it was really hard at times. I saw all of those people coming together to surround us in prayer, fill our refrigerator, care for Noelle, and help me grieve, and it reminded me that I was not alone.
I have always believed that it is best to share my struggles openly instead of keeping them locked away, and many times people have thanked me for my candor. They often open up themselves afterward, and a depth is added to our friendship that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. When I read the part of the definition of celebration that said, "to make known publicly; proclaim," my first thought was of my committment to claim Charlotte as my child to everyone I meet. I don't often let an opportunity pass me by to say that I have another daughter. Noelle knows her sister's name, and knows that she is in heaven. Every time I share her story, I am celebrating her existence, her role in my life. I am thankful to her for teaching me about reliance on God and others, and for giving me an opportunity to build deeper relationships with those in my community. Happy Birthday, Charlotte Mae Matthews. Your mommy loves you and will be with you again someday.
Thank you for sharing! I personally am very thankful for your openness and willingness to be honest about your struggles. I'm sure that was a hard day, but I'm glad you were able to celebrate and remember her. And happy anniversary!! Can't wait to meet New Baby Matthews :)
Tiana - June 02, 2008 02:02 pmWhat a great tribute to Charlotte! I continue to be amazed at your wonderful talent for putting things into words. I thank God everyday for bringing you into our lives through Andy. We are blessed to have you as a daughter in-law and the mother of our grandchildren! Happy 5th to you and Andy.
Carol - June 04, 2008 03:43 am
No no...not our fifth baby. Maybe that should have read "Happy Fifth, Baby", as in Happy 5th Anniversary? That's right...Jaime and I are coming up on the 5th anniversary of our wedding day back in May of 2003. Hard to believe that it's been that long, yet it also seems like longer.
So we're currently sitting, well laying, on a bed in Louisville, Kentucky chilling. Watching a little TV, doing a little net surfing, and waiting for it to cool down before heading out to do some shopping, and some mini-golf, and then some dinner.
Tomorrow, we're driving up to Illinois to attend the wedding of one of the girls who was in OUR wedding. Then we head back to Nashville on Monday.
Lucky for us, my parents are watching Noelle for us while we take this short weekend to spend some time together. So, here's to you Jaime...5 years, then another 5, then ten, and then 20 more. If we're both still alive then, we can renegotiate.
Mwa.
So we're currently sitting, well laying, on a bed in Louisville, Kentucky chilling. Watching a little TV, doing a little net surfing, and waiting for it to cool down before heading out to do some shopping, and some mini-golf, and then some dinner.
Tomorrow, we're driving up to Illinois to attend the wedding of one of the girls who was in OUR wedding. Then we head back to Nashville on Monday.
Lucky for us, my parents are watching Noelle for us while we take this short weekend to spend some time together. So, here's to you Jaime...5 years, then another 5, then ten, and then 20 more. If we're both still alive then, we can renegotiate.
Mwa.
Brad and I have a 50 year contract. After that, we're renegotiating. We thought it sounded like a good idea when we got married :) Of course, Andy, since you're already 50, I'm not sure that you'll make it to 50 :)
Heather - May 24, 2008 02:45 pmThat's right. I'm going to be tanning myself on a beach in Hawaii on our 30th anniversary. I'll be 63 and wearing nothing but a smile and a Coppertone tan.
Andy Matthews - May 27, 2008 07:27 amWow! I'm glad that it's Jaime that you're married to!
Heather - May 28, 2008 08:23 amHe said he'd be tanning himself - and that's BY himself! He knows I'd never join him on that kind of outing. :)
Jaime Matthews - May 28, 2008 09:35 am
on April 23 2008 at 08:17 PM
by: Andy Matthews
Jaime and Noelle had a funny moment just now and I thought I'd share it. Noelle was in her room, in bed, while Jaime and I were in the living room. Noelle had pulled out her new underwear and put them on over her diaper, but then asked for "another pair". Jaime went in there to deal with her. As she was getting ready to leave the room, they had this conversational exchange:
Jaime: I'm not coming in here again.
Noelle: Okay, I call to Daddy.
That made Jaime and I both laugh because how smart is that? She realizes that she can at least attempt to play us off each other.
Jaime: I'm not coming in here again.
Noelle: Okay, I call to Daddy.
That made Jaime and I both laugh because how smart is that? She realizes that she can at least attempt to play us off each other.
Ah, yes... and so it begins! Jackson does this quite often these days as well. He likes to ask the same question of both of us, hoping for a different answer from the second. It's amazing how early they figure out how to get what they want! Miss you guys!
Jonathan - April 24, 2008 04:25 amKatrina does this, too! She asked me to open a bag of snacks for her the other day, and when I said no, not now, she replied, "My Daddy open it!" Thankfully Ryan was in earshot and heard the exchange, although that doesn't always happen ... Scary, isn't it, how they learn things we never intentionally teach them?
Lexa Herbert - April 25, 2008 07:40 amBoy did she learn from one of the best, many a times Andy went to Mom to get his way, but I guess that's why we love him so now and even then.
Dad - May 01, 2008 12:10 pm
We are into the 12th week now, and we heard our baby's heartbeat at my appointment on Friday! It was quite a relief. It always takes so long to find the heartbeat, I was starting to get worried. After my midwife finally locked onto it, I just couldn't stop crying. She's letting me come back in two weeks to hear it again, which I am very grateful for.
Other than the anxiety, I am feeling pretty good. Not too tired yet, no morning sickness, I have a good appetite. The only thing I'm dealing with is allergies, and I am just coughing a LOT. Noelle always says, "You sure have a bad cough!" Paired with the over-sensitive gag reflex that comes with pregnancy for me, that coughing has led to a little bit of throwing up.
Yesterday morning I ran to the bathroom during a coughing fit and threw up, and of course Noelle followed me. She stood watching for a while, and then she took several steps back and said, "Don't throw up on me, Mommy." Child, if I had a dollar for every time you have thrown up on me, we could all go have a very nice dinner.
For about 15 minutes after that, every time I coughed Noelle tensed up, looked at me with a concerned face, and with a serious voice said, "Are you throw-upping?"
I haven't gained a pound yet, I'd imagine the above events probably play a role in that! Hopefully I can find some kind of remedy for all this coughing soon.
Other than the anxiety, I am feeling pretty good. Not too tired yet, no morning sickness, I have a good appetite. The only thing I'm dealing with is allergies, and I am just coughing a LOT. Noelle always says, "You sure have a bad cough!" Paired with the over-sensitive gag reflex that comes with pregnancy for me, that coughing has led to a little bit of throwing up.
Yesterday morning I ran to the bathroom during a coughing fit and threw up, and of course Noelle followed me. She stood watching for a while, and then she took several steps back and said, "Don't throw up on me, Mommy." Child, if I had a dollar for every time you have thrown up on me, we could all go have a very nice dinner.
For about 15 minutes after that, every time I coughed Noelle tensed up, looked at me with a concerned face, and with a serious voice said, "Are you throw-upping?"
I haven't gained a pound yet, I'd imagine the above events probably play a role in that! Hopefully I can find some kind of remedy for all this coughing soon.
We need to get you fattened up girl!
andy matthews - April 01, 2008 02:28 pm
We're at the 10 week mark today in our pregnancy! Double digits mean a decreased risk of miscarriage, so that's good, but I'm holding out for my next appointment where we'll be able to hear the heartbeat. That's scheduled for March 28. That will help me relax a bit, and then I'll be waiting to feel those first movements.
It's probably because this is my third kid, but I'm already busting out of my regular pants. I regularly unbutton them, and sometimes just end up changing into my pajama pants. I guess I should have Andy get the maternity clothes bin down from the attic. I know it's dumb, but I am nervous about getting them out again. Putting those clothes away after Charlotte died was awful, and it will be hard to look through them again. I really try not to think negatively, but I definitely have thoughts like "I wonder how long I'll get to wear them this time." I suppose in light of that, I should enjoy every moment of it that I have.
I'm not feeling too bad anymore, except for the stomach virus I had this week (thanks, Noelle, and probably your school friends). I get tired easily, and I still get incredibly hungry at times and need to eat immediately. We are trying to do a "no spend March" this month where we only buy groceries and pay bills, nothing else. That's definitely been hard on my cravings! Of course, I made cravings an exception so I am technically allowed, but I try to fight off the temptation.
All in all, I can only hope that the rest of the pregnancy is as easy as the last 10 weeks has been. Maybe with a little less anxiety.
It's probably because this is my third kid, but I'm already busting out of my regular pants. I regularly unbutton them, and sometimes just end up changing into my pajama pants. I guess I should have Andy get the maternity clothes bin down from the attic. I know it's dumb, but I am nervous about getting them out again. Putting those clothes away after Charlotte died was awful, and it will be hard to look through them again. I really try not to think negatively, but I definitely have thoughts like "I wonder how long I'll get to wear them this time." I suppose in light of that, I should enjoy every moment of it that I have.
I'm not feeling too bad anymore, except for the stomach virus I had this week (thanks, Noelle, and probably your school friends). I get tired easily, and I still get incredibly hungry at times and need to eat immediately. We are trying to do a "no spend March" this month where we only buy groceries and pay bills, nothing else. That's definitely been hard on my cravings! Of course, I made cravings an exception so I am technically allowed, but I try to fight off the temptation.
All in all, I can only hope that the rest of the pregnancy is as easy as the last 10 weeks has been. Maybe with a little less anxiety.
I hope that I can be more understanding of your concerns babes. I know I make light of them and tell you to "trust", but they're still valid concerns.
Andy Matthews - March 17, 2008 12:36 pmYEAH! 10 weeks is a milestone! Little flutter kicks are next, what a beautiful thing to anticipate. We are praying for you every day that your fears will subside and you will enjoy this pregnancy and anticipate the arrival of little "Mattie". We love you.
Mom M - March 18, 2008 10:34 am
The Women's Retreat with my church has come around again, and I'll be leaving in just one hour for two nights away with my friends, learning about God's rest. Ahhh.
I always think I'll miss Noelle (which I always do) but she sure knows how to make it easy for me to leave. She's been a total booger today, ending with an awesome 45 minute nap and a refusal to watch her current favorite movie while I finish packing. So instead she's following me around, scamming all the snacks I'm trying to pack, whining that I won't let her have any cookies, and messing with my suitcase. A few days away is just what the doctor ordered, I think.
I've been feeling pretty ill as of late, which is fine with me because it gives me some reassurance, but as I told Andy, just because I'm glad for it doesn't mean I'm going to suck it up. Basically at any given time I am nausated, starving, or in some kind of pain, or maybe even all three! It's good times. Someone asked me if I felt well enough to go to this retreat, and I said that I don't feel well enough NOT to! Being at a retreat center with no children or housework is exactly where I need to be. It always seems like perfect timing!
I always think I'll miss Noelle (which I always do) but she sure knows how to make it easy for me to leave. She's been a total booger today, ending with an awesome 45 minute nap and a refusal to watch her current favorite movie while I finish packing. So instead she's following me around, scamming all the snacks I'm trying to pack, whining that I won't let her have any cookies, and messing with my suitcase. A few days away is just what the doctor ordered, I think.
I've been feeling pretty ill as of late, which is fine with me because it gives me some reassurance, but as I told Andy, just because I'm glad for it doesn't mean I'm going to suck it up. Basically at any given time I am nausated, starving, or in some kind of pain, or maybe even all three! It's good times. Someone asked me if I felt well enough to go to this retreat, and I said that I don't feel well enough NOT to! Being at a retreat center with no children or housework is exactly where I need to be. It always seems like perfect timing!
Hope you have a relaxing time!
Mom B - February 29, 2008 03:11 pmWell, you're lucky you weren't here tonight. She threw up after being in bed for about an hour. Spent about 20 minutes getting her and her bed cleaned up.
Andy Matthews - February 29, 2008 09:38 pmFord threw up while I was gone this weekend too. Sounds like Scott and you had the same kind of weekend. Lucky for Jaime and me we were relaxing at the retreat.
Natalie McLaughlin - March 04, 2008 10:53 am
I've been feeling kind of off this week, not sure why. I feel like spending time alone, and am really interested in cleaning which is something I tend to do a lot of when I'm stressed or feel out of control. Yesterday if I wasn't so busy during the time Noelle was at school, I may have tried pulling down the Christmas decorations from the attic and putting them up by myself. That's just the kind of stuff I feel like doing. And a small part of me would have wanted Andy to feel bad that I did it alone, even though I didn't ask him to help and he couldn't have had any idea that I was doing it. So that's ridiculous. Again, good thing I was too busy for all that.
This morning Noelle was singing Jesus Loves Me, and she sang "There are weeks, but He is strong." I told her that what she sang was probably a better version for me right now than the original. We all have weeks like this, and there won't be an end to them until we get to Heaven. So when we do go through these weeks, we need to hold onto the truth that God is strong, and in control, and He cares about my week.
I did get some "good" news today. I suspected my progesterone levels might be low, too low in fact to support us in getting pregnant, so I went in on Monday for a test. I came in at the low end of "normal" which means that they are going to put me on progesterone for a few months to see if that corrects the issues I've been having. My midwife seems pretty confident that this should do the trick. I sure hope it does.
This morning Noelle was singing Jesus Loves Me, and she sang "There are weeks, but He is strong." I told her that what she sang was probably a better version for me right now than the original. We all have weeks like this, and there won't be an end to them until we get to Heaven. So when we do go through these weeks, we need to hold onto the truth that God is strong, and in control, and He cares about my week.
I did get some "good" news today. I suspected my progesterone levels might be low, too low in fact to support us in getting pregnant, so I went in on Monday for a test. I came in at the low end of "normal" which means that they are going to put me on progesterone for a few months to see if that corrects the issues I've been having. My midwife seems pretty confident that this should do the trick. I sure hope it does.
So glad there is something they can do for you! We'll be praying that the progesterone works!!!
Mom B - December 06, 2007 07:24 am
Today was the closing of our mortgage refinancing (yay!), and since we met Andy halfway then went out to dinner, he hadn't been home until we all came in together this evening. He walked in the kitchen and said, "What's up with the counter?" I was still in the office, so at first I didn't know what he was talking about. Then I remembered that it was a complete disaster of groceries, mail, dishes, etc. that I just hadn't had time to deal with that afternoon before Noelle and I left.
I told him hey, at least it's unusual enough for it to be such a mess that you had to ask what happened. It reminded me of that cartoon where the house is a wreck and the mom is laying in bed while the kids go crazy, and the husband asks what happened. She says "You know how you ask me what I do all day? Well today I didn't do it."
Another mess today was during Noelle's nap, when I heard her say "I need to wash my fingers" and went in to see removed pants and diaper, and, well, you can guess the rest. She did sweetly say "thank you, Mommy" as I was changing her sheets, but I was still disgusted. And that's why I didn't get around to cleaning off the counter!
I told him hey, at least it's unusual enough for it to be such a mess that you had to ask what happened. It reminded me of that cartoon where the house is a wreck and the mom is laying in bed while the kids go crazy, and the husband asks what happened. She says "You know how you ask me what I do all day? Well today I didn't do it."
Another mess today was during Noelle's nap, when I heard her say "I need to wash my fingers" and went in to see removed pants and diaper, and, well, you can guess the rest. She did sweetly say "thank you, Mommy" as I was changing her sheets, but I was still disgusted. And that's why I didn't get around to cleaning off the counter!
Noelle's class had a Halloween party today, and all the parents signed up to bring something for them to have for lunch. I signed up for cheese, and right away knew I couldn't just bring in plain old cheese. I remembered these little cookie cutters I got for Christmas, and BAM! Pumpkin and leaf cheeses fit for a group of toddlers. I was pretty proud, and felt like a real school mom.
They all loved them. Noelle even had some of the leftovers for breakfast this morning and she was so proud that she was eating leaves!
Andy Matthews - October 31, 2007 07:03 amWow!! I'm impressed! What a cool idea. The presentation looks so good on that bright plate. Sounds like you will do great as a "school mom".
Carol - October 31, 2007 07:53 am
Wow, three new posts in one day! Tonight as I was driving to Walgreens to pick up a prescription, after having an argument with Andy over where to put things in the new cabinets, I realized that both of my other posts were pretty negative. And both experiences I wrote about were not great ones, to be sure, but I began to wonder why they got to me so much. Then I recalled why I was going to Walgreens. I've been out of my antidepressant for about 5 days and was finally getting it refilled.
When I used to take Effexor, if I forgot to take it one night I was feeling it by morning. I would get shaky, sickly, and feel this weird movement in my head that I always described as neurons popping. When I came off Effexor before we got pregnant, I about died. I didn't want to kill myself or anything that extreme, but I did consider crashing the car on purpose and I know I treated Andy really badly. But with Wellbutrin, it's not been nearly that dramatic. I can forget to take the pills every now and then and feel no physical effects, and no emotional effects for quite some time. Which can trick me into thinking maybe I don't need it anymore, but I've been there and know it's not true.
When I first started taking antidepressants, I saw them as a sort of crutch. Because of the mental state I was in, I literally could not work through any feelings I was experiencing or choose to feel some other way. Just like you literally cannot walk without a crutch if you injure yourself. That crutch helps you get around and figure things out while you are healing. Many people can then give up the crutch and go on with their lives. Some people, like me, find that it isn't something that "heals", but that it truly is a physical need for medication, and then are on the medication for life. I've come off and gone back on the pills enough times to know that for me, it's a physical need that manifests itself in emotional ways.
Also on my way to Walgreens, I remembered that this week I've been really busy with work and of course the kitchen and trip to Atlanta, and so I wasn't able to do my Bible Study before my group met on Tuesday morning. Spending that time in the Word and researching the names of God (which is what we're currently studying) brings a lot more to my week than I give it credit for. I also had to miss our church Community Group meeting on Wednesday night since we were out of town. That group provides not only another place to talk and learn about God, but also a break from my role as mommy and wife, and just a chance to be a girl.
So this week it's back to Wellbutrin, back to Bible Study, back to Community Group and friends, and I know that the Lord will be faithful to pull me out of the cloudy place I'm in right now. He always has.
When I used to take Effexor, if I forgot to take it one night I was feeling it by morning. I would get shaky, sickly, and feel this weird movement in my head that I always described as neurons popping. When I came off Effexor before we got pregnant, I about died. I didn't want to kill myself or anything that extreme, but I did consider crashing the car on purpose and I know I treated Andy really badly. But with Wellbutrin, it's not been nearly that dramatic. I can forget to take the pills every now and then and feel no physical effects, and no emotional effects for quite some time. Which can trick me into thinking maybe I don't need it anymore, but I've been there and know it's not true.
When I first started taking antidepressants, I saw them as a sort of crutch. Because of the mental state I was in, I literally could not work through any feelings I was experiencing or choose to feel some other way. Just like you literally cannot walk without a crutch if you injure yourself. That crutch helps you get around and figure things out while you are healing. Many people can then give up the crutch and go on with their lives. Some people, like me, find that it isn't something that "heals", but that it truly is a physical need for medication, and then are on the medication for life. I've come off and gone back on the pills enough times to know that for me, it's a physical need that manifests itself in emotional ways.
Also on my way to Walgreens, I remembered that this week I've been really busy with work and of course the kitchen and trip to Atlanta, and so I wasn't able to do my Bible Study before my group met on Tuesday morning. Spending that time in the Word and researching the names of God (which is what we're currently studying) brings a lot more to my week than I give it credit for. I also had to miss our church Community Group meeting on Wednesday night since we were out of town. That group provides not only another place to talk and learn about God, but also a break from my role as mommy and wife, and just a chance to be a girl.
So this week it's back to Wellbutrin, back to Bible Study, back to Community Group and friends, and I know that the Lord will be faithful to pull me out of the cloudy place I'm in right now. He always has.
I visited my midwife yesterday for a postpartum check up. I was glad to go, because I had a few questions that I wanted to ask and just wanted to reconnect with my midwife. I was pretty out of it while she was there with me at the hospital, and I knew there were a few things she talked with Andy about that I was asleep or in surgery for. We spent the majority of time talking about how I'm doing emotionally and how I'm processing Charlotte's death, and I left knowing that right there is why I chose to use a midwife. I shared with Margaret how wonderful our experience at the hospital was, considering, and how I felt so cared for by every single person we came into contact with. Vanderbilt was so respectful of me, and more importantly, of Charlotte. My nurse cried with me and let me talk as much as I needed to, the resident who performed the D&C patted and rubbed my arm as I was going under anesthesia, and everyone who came to our room said they were sorry about Charlotte's death and didn't just do what they had to do and ignore the reason. I was very impressed with the way Vanderbilt cared for us and for Charlotte.
One of the questions I asked today was about some things I've read online since Charlotte died, namely that a baby who dies in the womb will start to shrink at the same rate they would have grown if they continued to develop. That led me to believe that Charlotte was probably closer to 18 weeks old when she died as opposed to the 16.5 weeks she was measuring, and Margaret agreed that was probably the case. I am glad to know that she had likely only been dead for a few days or a week, because now I know that I felt her moving the weekend before, and I am glad to have that memory.
She also said it was likely that the cord got wrapped loosely around Charlotte's neck early on, and as she grew she was just never able to wiggle out of it. That image is not one that I enjoy having, but I do feel some resolution knowing that it was definitely a cord accident and nothing else, and the likelihood of that happening is like being struck by lightning. I will still be anxious with our next pregnancies, but I can feel fairly confident that this was an isolated incident.
The last question I had was when it will be okay to try for another baby, and while my nurses at the hospital suggested 6 months because of the blood I lost, Margaret said it would be fine to try after 3 as long as I pursue a diet high in iron and continue my vitamins. We hope that we have the same fertility luck we've had thusfar, but know that isn't by any means a guarantee and has been a complete blessing. So, our prayer is that by the time Charlotte's year anniversary comes along, we are close to a due date for our third child. I just want to be in a place in our pregnancy that I can feel the baby moving all the time and feel more confident than you can feel at the stage I was in with Charlotte.
And now Noelle is probably finishing up what looks to be a 3 hour nap, so I'm going to try and enjoy the last few minutes of free time I have!
One of the questions I asked today was about some things I've read online since Charlotte died, namely that a baby who dies in the womb will start to shrink at the same rate they would have grown if they continued to develop. That led me to believe that Charlotte was probably closer to 18 weeks old when she died as opposed to the 16.5 weeks she was measuring, and Margaret agreed that was probably the case. I am glad to know that she had likely only been dead for a few days or a week, because now I know that I felt her moving the weekend before, and I am glad to have that memory.
She also said it was likely that the cord got wrapped loosely around Charlotte's neck early on, and as she grew she was just never able to wiggle out of it. That image is not one that I enjoy having, but I do feel some resolution knowing that it was definitely a cord accident and nothing else, and the likelihood of that happening is like being struck by lightning. I will still be anxious with our next pregnancies, but I can feel fairly confident that this was an isolated incident.
The last question I had was when it will be okay to try for another baby, and while my nurses at the hospital suggested 6 months because of the blood I lost, Margaret said it would be fine to try after 3 as long as I pursue a diet high in iron and continue my vitamins. We hope that we have the same fertility luck we've had thusfar, but know that isn't by any means a guarantee and has been a complete blessing. So, our prayer is that by the time Charlotte's year anniversary comes along, we are close to a due date for our third child. I just want to be in a place in our pregnancy that I can feel the baby moving all the time and feel more confident than you can feel at the stage I was in with Charlotte.
And now Noelle is probably finishing up what looks to be a 3 hour nap, so I'm going to try and enjoy the last few minutes of free time I have!
on June 13 2007 at 08:28 AM
by: Jaime Matthews
Yesterday I encountered a series of mishaps that left me feeling frustrated, and laughing at the same time. First, we had received a meal from a friend during Bible Study in the morning, and as I tried to fit it into the refrigerator I knocked over a glass of fruit tea I had saved from the night before. Fruit tea all over everything in my fridge. It took me about 15 minutes to completely clean up the mess I had made, and I couldn't help but think how wrong it was that a meal given to me to free up my time caused this mess that was taking up my free time. Well, the meal and my clumsiness.
Later, after Noelle woke up from her nap, I went to change her diaper and as I pulled off her shorts, poop came flying out onto her changing table and my hand. There was definitely a lot of poop, but the main reason it overflowed is that her diaper apparently got put on a little crooked in the nursery or somehow wiggled around so that it was not completely covering her behind. So I stripped her down, trying not to get anything else dirty. Then as we stood in front of the bathtub while it filled up, Noelle of course being naked, she peed on the bathroom rug and floor.
Then we went to play with some friends at a local sprayground, and while pretty much everything went just fine, Noelle hit the back of her head pretty hard while going down the slide. And after daddy got home, he scraped Noelle's foot against the screen door coming in from the pool, causing many long seconds of a silent cry before an eruption of screaming.
At the end of the day, I went over to a friend's house to pick up some snacks she had made for us, and along with some very yummy treats, she gave me of all things - a pitcher of fruit tea. It's kind of nice how it all comes back around. It's almost providential.
Kind of like how last week, Noelle kept asking me for an apple and I had to tell her we were all out, and that I was sorry. Then maybe 10 minutes later, the doorbell rang and I was being given a basket of fruit and goodies, and all of a sudden I had an apple. I know those things are not that big of a deal, but I also know we have a God that meets the needs of his people. Even the silly ones.
Later, after Noelle woke up from her nap, I went to change her diaper and as I pulled off her shorts, poop came flying out onto her changing table and my hand. There was definitely a lot of poop, but the main reason it overflowed is that her diaper apparently got put on a little crooked in the nursery or somehow wiggled around so that it was not completely covering her behind. So I stripped her down, trying not to get anything else dirty. Then as we stood in front of the bathtub while it filled up, Noelle of course being naked, she peed on the bathroom rug and floor.
Then we went to play with some friends at a local sprayground, and while pretty much everything went just fine, Noelle hit the back of her head pretty hard while going down the slide. And after daddy got home, he scraped Noelle's foot against the screen door coming in from the pool, causing many long seconds of a silent cry before an eruption of screaming.
At the end of the day, I went over to a friend's house to pick up some snacks she had made for us, and along with some very yummy treats, she gave me of all things - a pitcher of fruit tea. It's kind of nice how it all comes back around. It's almost providential.
Kind of like how last week, Noelle kept asking me for an apple and I had to tell her we were all out, and that I was sorry. Then maybe 10 minutes later, the doorbell rang and I was being given a basket of fruit and goodies, and all of a sudden I had an apple. I know those things are not that big of a deal, but I also know we have a God that meets the needs of his people. Even the silly ones.
My birthday, Mother's Day, and my wedding anniversary are all in May. Three days that, to me, are about being with family, celebrating, and taking care of myself. They are also about being taken care of by those around me, which is why I'm not a huge fan of them all being in the same month. First, if I really do let people (okay, Andy) take care of me three times in one month, I start to feel like I'm abusing the privilege. It's not like I'm going to go on three shopping sprees or get three massages or take three days where I leave Noelle with Andy and have some "me" time. All in one month, that would seem very extravagant. But if these holidays were spread throughout the year, I could easily do some of these things three times, no problem.
The reality of it is that I never know what to ask for as a gift anyway, and to me, a dinner out with family or a little time to myself is a great gift. I saw a commercial recently for a jewelry store where a woman is giving her baby a bath in the kitchen sink, and she calls out to her husband, seemingly to maybe ask him for help. He strolls in with a jewelry box, and walks up behind his wife to surprise her. Then the announcer says something about how that guy found the perfect gift for Mother's Day. My first thought was - put down that stupid box and give this child a bath! Now granted, I'm not a jewelry person at all, but no matter what he was carrying in, it probably wouldn't have meant as much as if he said, "Here, honey. Let me finish this bath and put the baby to bed, then I'll make you a great dinner. You just go relax."
I am fortunate to have a husband who does do a lot around the house, and he even gives Noelle a bath every night and puts her to bed. He cooks at least half the time, too, if not more. But even though he generally does his share of the household duties and is a great dad, it is always a gift to me when I unexpectedly don't have to do a chore I was planning to do.
I know that I can ask for help or me time or a massage anytime I want, any month of the year. But I think we all know that sometimes it's nice to have the presence of a holiday on our side. Not only to remind our spouse or family members to express their appreciation, but also to justify the request. I guess having all my days in one month just means I need to allow myself to ask more often, just because. I have no doubt that Andy and my friends and family will comply - I've seen it happen in the past. I am well cared for, and I think being reminded of that is my favorite part about holidays.
The reality of it is that I never know what to ask for as a gift anyway, and to me, a dinner out with family or a little time to myself is a great gift. I saw a commercial recently for a jewelry store where a woman is giving her baby a bath in the kitchen sink, and she calls out to her husband, seemingly to maybe ask him for help. He strolls in with a jewelry box, and walks up behind his wife to surprise her. Then the announcer says something about how that guy found the perfect gift for Mother's Day. My first thought was - put down that stupid box and give this child a bath! Now granted, I'm not a jewelry person at all, but no matter what he was carrying in, it probably wouldn't have meant as much as if he said, "Here, honey. Let me finish this bath and put the baby to bed, then I'll make you a great dinner. You just go relax."
I am fortunate to have a husband who does do a lot around the house, and he even gives Noelle a bath every night and puts her to bed. He cooks at least half the time, too, if not more. But even though he generally does his share of the household duties and is a great dad, it is always a gift to me when I unexpectedly don't have to do a chore I was planning to do.
I know that I can ask for help or me time or a massage anytime I want, any month of the year. But I think we all know that sometimes it's nice to have the presence of a holiday on our side. Not only to remind our spouse or family members to express their appreciation, but also to justify the request. I guess having all my days in one month just means I need to allow myself to ask more often, just because. I have no doubt that Andy and my friends and family will comply - I've seen it happen in the past. I am well cared for, and I think being reminded of that is my favorite part about holidays.
I had my first appointment with my midwife on Thursday, and since we weren't able to hear the heartbeat at the office we decided to send me for an ultrasound. Not hearing the heartbeat at 10 weeks is not unusual, but I was glad to be able to check on the baby.
So we all went in for the ultrasound, and everything is looking good. Baby has a strong heartbeat and measured the right size for how far along we are. Even though it is only 3.18 cm from "crown to rump", it was moving it's little body all over the place. Feeling Noelle moving around was one of my favorite parts of pregnancy, and I look forward to that again.
Still feeling sick, but I am not sick to the degree I was with Noelle. It does sometimes last all day, but it isn't debilitating like last time, at least not very often. I've had some cravings (last night I wanted hot dogs for dinner) and some food has made me want to vomit. I can't brush my tongue anymore without gagging.
It's all part of the package, though, and it's all worth it in the end. Of course, I say that while my daughter who should be napping is in her crib doing everything but, and her daddy and I have no desire to entertain her for one more minute today. Earlier I suggested we go to the park, and then said "I don't want to go either, but I also don't want to sit here and try to entertain her until dinner." To which Andy said he just didn't want to do ANYTHING. And I said I agreed, but we've got a 15 month old so what can you do. I won't say what he suggested next, but it involved the fact that we're starting over anyway. We really love being parents, honest.
So we all went in for the ultrasound, and everything is looking good. Baby has a strong heartbeat and measured the right size for how far along we are. Even though it is only 3.18 cm from "crown to rump", it was moving it's little body all over the place. Feeling Noelle moving around was one of my favorite parts of pregnancy, and I look forward to that again.
Still feeling sick, but I am not sick to the degree I was with Noelle. It does sometimes last all day, but it isn't debilitating like last time, at least not very often. I've had some cravings (last night I wanted hot dogs for dinner) and some food has made me want to vomit. I can't brush my tongue anymore without gagging.
It's all part of the package, though, and it's all worth it in the end. Of course, I say that while my daughter who should be napping is in her crib doing everything but, and her daddy and I have no desire to entertain her for one more minute today. Earlier I suggested we go to the park, and then said "I don't want to go either, but I also don't want to sit here and try to entertain her until dinner." To which Andy said he just didn't want to do ANYTHING. And I said I agreed, but we've got a 15 month old so what can you do. I won't say what he suggested next, but it involved the fact that we're starting over anyway. We really love being parents, honest.
Tomorrow I am going on an overnight Women's Retreat with our church. My first night without Noelle. Ever. Even Andy couldn't believe it, and thought surely I've had at least one night before this, before she was 14 months old. But no. I haven't been without her for more than 12 hours in a row (and that was just once, other than that it's been less than 6) since April 2005 when she was first conceived. To say I'm looking forward to it is an understatement.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my little girl. In fact, part of the reason I'm writing this post is to tell a few cute stories about her. But every mama needs a BREAK every now and then. Plus, I'm excited for Andy to have this concentrated time with Noelle and do the "single parent" thing that I do every day, and have done for a few overnights as well.
So on to the stories. Today I got Noelle up from a nap and brought her out to the living room. The high chair was out there because we bring it out on Monday nights for our Lost party with the Daugherty's, and I hadn't put it back yet. I stood her on top of the tray to be silly, and she worked her way to sitting down in the seat where she promptly said, "naa???" which is the way she says "snack???" And lately, every time she says snack, she begins to slowly nod her head yes right after, as if to try and hypnotize me into agreeing that it is in fact snack time.
Later we were having lunch and in between bites we were practicing some letter sounds. We were working on "t," and although I thought she had finished her bite of applesauce I guess she still had some in her mouth. So when she said "tuh", she spit applesauce all over her tray. She threw her body back in her seat and looked so surprised, and then just giggled uncontrollably. Crack me up. We have a good time together, me and Noelle. Not all the time, but enough to say that we generally enjoy each other's company. I'm sure I'll miss her more than I think tomorrow night.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my little girl. In fact, part of the reason I'm writing this post is to tell a few cute stories about her. But every mama needs a BREAK every now and then. Plus, I'm excited for Andy to have this concentrated time with Noelle and do the "single parent" thing that I do every day, and have done for a few overnights as well.
So on to the stories. Today I got Noelle up from a nap and brought her out to the living room. The high chair was out there because we bring it out on Monday nights for our Lost party with the Daugherty's, and I hadn't put it back yet. I stood her on top of the tray to be silly, and she worked her way to sitting down in the seat where she promptly said, "naa???" which is the way she says "snack???" And lately, every time she says snack, she begins to slowly nod her head yes right after, as if to try and hypnotize me into agreeing that it is in fact snack time.
Later we were having lunch and in between bites we were practicing some letter sounds. We were working on "t," and although I thought she had finished her bite of applesauce I guess she still had some in her mouth. So when she said "tuh", she spit applesauce all over her tray. She threw her body back in her seat and looked so surprised, and then just giggled uncontrollably. Crack me up. We have a good time together, me and Noelle. Not all the time, but enough to say that we generally enjoy each other's company. I'm sure I'll miss her more than I think tomorrow night.
Being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) isn't all that thrilling sometimes. Today, for instance, time is moving as slowly as it ever has in my entire life. Worse than waiting in line at the DMV, which to me is one of the slowest procedures in the world. It is absolutely beyond me how it is only 4:00 right now. We've played with every toy we own, read most of our books several times, watched a video, played out in the yard, took a bath, went to the grocery store, took a nap, played with the dogs, had several snacks, ate lunch, and many other activities that apparently only take 1 minute each.
It doesn't help that I feel sick and that it's Friday, but seriously, what in the world? Normally we don't take a bath until right before bed, but I thought it'd be a good activity. I thought we had been playing in there FOREVER, and by the time I got us out and dried off, it hadn't even been fifteen minutes! I had to check my watch to make sure it hadn't stopped. Most days I really do enjoy this job, but like any job, there are days that I'd rather be doing anything else. Especially at the age Noelle is, there just aren't a whole lot of activities we can do.
One of our friends just started letting her daughter color, but I'm very sure Noelle would just eat the crayons. Have we mentioned how she has chewed up her crib to oblivion? We did finger painting around Christmas for an art project and Noelle just cried, so I think we should wait a while to do that one again. It's a little too chilly to go for a walk still. She won't sit and watch a video for more than 5 minutes. Pretty much any art or craft project, I'm still afraid she would eat all the supplies. There are only so many times you can go to the store. So what's a mom to do?
Thank goodness it's the weekend and we'll have some daddy help.
It doesn't help that I feel sick and that it's Friday, but seriously, what in the world? Normally we don't take a bath until right before bed, but I thought it'd be a good activity. I thought we had been playing in there FOREVER, and by the time I got us out and dried off, it hadn't even been fifteen minutes! I had to check my watch to make sure it hadn't stopped. Most days I really do enjoy this job, but like any job, there are days that I'd rather be doing anything else. Especially at the age Noelle is, there just aren't a whole lot of activities we can do.
One of our friends just started letting her daughter color, but I'm very sure Noelle would just eat the crayons. Have we mentioned how she has chewed up her crib to oblivion? We did finger painting around Christmas for an art project and Noelle just cried, so I think we should wait a while to do that one again. It's a little too chilly to go for a walk still. She won't sit and watch a video for more than 5 minutes. Pretty much any art or craft project, I'm still afraid she would eat all the supplies. There are only so many times you can go to the store. So what's a mom to do?
Thank goodness it's the weekend and we'll have some daddy help.
The Sickness has come again, and I can only hope that it doesn't end up as bad as last time. So far I've just been very nauseated, not able to stand up for long periods of time, and disgusted by the thought of most food. And that's not for the entire day, it's so far only been from morning until around 2, and then maybe a little bit in the evening. I just can't deal with the same stuff I had last time, because I have to take care of Noelle! Thankfully she is walking now, getting better every day, so I don't need to carry her as much. It's also a blessing that she is a pretty independent little girl if I need her to be.
I know that sickness is a relatively small price to pay for the joy that a baby brings to my life, and that sickness can give me some comfort that things are working as they should. It still stinks, though!
Yesterday I went to the grocery store to buy a bunch of "convenience foods." Last pregnancy, I went through several months where if there wasn't something in the house that I could eat quickly and without any real prep time, I would just skip lunch. I couldn't think about food long enough to prepare it. Obviously not good for me or the baby, but it was how I had to deal. So I bought some quick things like pre-cut apples, bananas, grapes, Lunchables, meal replacement bars, and string cheese that might help keep me going. Hopefully it works!
I know that sickness is a relatively small price to pay for the joy that a baby brings to my life, and that sickness can give me some comfort that things are working as they should. It still stinks, though!
Yesterday I went to the grocery store to buy a bunch of "convenience foods." Last pregnancy, I went through several months where if there wasn't something in the house that I could eat quickly and without any real prep time, I would just skip lunch. I couldn't think about food long enough to prepare it. Obviously not good for me or the baby, but it was how I had to deal. So I bought some quick things like pre-cut apples, bananas, grapes, Lunchables, meal replacement bars, and string cheese that might help keep me going. Hopefully it works!
Last night I went with a group of women from our church to a place called Super Suppers. It is one of those places where you can go and prepare a bunch of meals at one time to take home and freeze. They do all the prep work, and all you have to do is go around to the different stations and follow the recipe for each meal. They even take away your dirty dishes, usually before you can even set them down! I had a great time, and now we have 12 meals in our freezer that I can just thaw and eat. And, it was nice to have time to myself that wasn't at a doctor's office.
You should check to see if they have a location in your area! It really was fun, and they had great snacks there for us, too. Also, the party host there gets free meals based on how many people attend, and in this case our hostess donated all of those meals to our church's freezer meals ministry. She got 16 free meals that we can now give to families in need.
Andy was jealous that I got to go instead of him, but he changed his mind when I said that all the food was chopped and separated and ready to go. That's one of his favorite parts. Maybe he should get a job there! More likely, though, we talked last night about how this was a good idea for us to do ourselves once a month or so. He can do the prep work, and I'll put all the meals together. Works for me!
You should check to see if they have a location in your area! It really was fun, and they had great snacks there for us, too. Also, the party host there gets free meals based on how many people attend, and in this case our hostess donated all of those meals to our church's freezer meals ministry. She got 16 free meals that we can now give to families in need.
Andy was jealous that I got to go instead of him, but he changed his mind when I said that all the food was chopped and separated and ready to go. That's one of his favorite parts. Maybe he should get a job there! More likely, though, we talked last night about how this was a good idea for us to do ourselves once a month or so. He can do the prep work, and I'll put all the meals together. Works for me!
Noelle and I had on similar sweaters and jeans today, so it was a perfect day for mommy daughter pictures. Here is one of our favorites. I know some people don't agree, but I think there's nothing cuter than a little baby dressed in clothes that an older child or adult would wear. I mean come on, my baby girl in a turtleneck sweater? To die for!
My turn to try out the e-mail posting!
I'll take this opportunity to tell you about my experience yesterday of getting my very first cavity filled. I got the cavity while I was pregnant (thanks for ruining my 26 year record, Noelle), and they decided to wait until after I had the baby to take care of it. So here we are a year later, finally getting it done.
I was not excited, to say the least. Shots and drilling in my mouth are not something I enjoy thinking about. The worst part was the shot to numb the area, but if not for that, the drilling certainly would have been the worst part. I pretended the drill was just the electric tooth polisher they use, because it sounded similar. It's mostly mental for me anyway, so that helped a lot. As did squeezing the hand of the dental assistant. She said I could! All in all it wasn't that big of a deal. My hygienist hurt me just about as bad as the shot did when she was flossing my teeth.
As I was sitting there getting all numb preparing myself for this procedure, I thought how it's kind of sad that the only time I get to "myself" anymore is when I go to the doctor or to get my hair cut, or something that I can't take Noelle to. Oh well, such is life!
I'll take this opportunity to tell you about my experience yesterday of getting my very first cavity filled. I got the cavity while I was pregnant (thanks for ruining my 26 year record, Noelle), and they decided to wait until after I had the baby to take care of it. So here we are a year later, finally getting it done.
I was not excited, to say the least. Shots and drilling in my mouth are not something I enjoy thinking about. The worst part was the shot to numb the area, but if not for that, the drilling certainly would have been the worst part. I pretended the drill was just the electric tooth polisher they use, because it sounded similar. It's mostly mental for me anyway, so that helped a lot. As did squeezing the hand of the dental assistant. She said I could! All in all it wasn't that big of a deal. My hygienist hurt me just about as bad as the shot did when she was flossing my teeth.
As I was sitting there getting all numb preparing myself for this procedure, I thought how it's kind of sad that the only time I get to "myself" anymore is when I go to the doctor or to get my hair cut, or something that I can't take Noelle to. Oh well, such is life!
on September 12 2006 at 11:13 AM
by: Andy Matthews
Noelle is officially baptized. For those of you who don't know what infant baptism is, here's what the Presbyterian church believes about the topic along with a brief synopsis.
Both believers and their children are included in God's covenant love. Children of believers are to be baptized without undue delay, but without undue haste. Baptism, whether administered to those who profess their faith or to those presented for Baptism as children, is one and the same Sacrament. The Baptism of children witnesses to the truth that God's love claims people before they are able to respond in faith. (Book of Order W-2.3008)So we baptized Noelle, not so that she's "saved", but so that we declare before God that we want her to be set apart.
Baptism, therefore, usually occurs during infancy, though a person may be baptized at any age. Parents bring their baby to church, where they publicly declare their desire that he or she be baptized. When an infant or child is baptized the church commits itself to nurture the child in faith. When adults are baptized they make a public profession of faith.
Baptism distinguishes children of those who believe in God's redemptive power from children of nonbelievers. The water that is used symbolizes three accounts from the Bible's Old Testament: the waters of creation, the flood described in the story of Noah, and the Hebrews' escape from slavery in Egypt by crossing the Red Sea. All three stories link humanity to God's goodness through water.
Anyway, it went really well, one of the people involved in the ceremony said that she was one of the best babies they'd had on stage in months. Yay Noelle. She was absolutely adorable and even reach out for the Carter Crenshaw (our pastor) several times.
We had a great time with family and friends this past weekend, but we're glad to be back to our normal routine. Thanks to everyone who came to Nashville this weekend and made this such a special occasion for us, and for Noelle.
on September 06 2006 at 03:44 AM
by: Andy Matthews
Greetings! We wanted to let you know about two things happening this coming
weekend that you are invited to be a part of.
First, the annual Greek Festival is this Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox church, 4905 Franklin Pike. We plan on going Saturday night (Sept. 9) around 5 PM. We hope to see you there! Let us know if you plan on going and we'll look for you in the crowd. http://www.holytrinitynashville.org/GreekFestival2006.dsp
Second, Noelle will be baptized this Sunday (Sept. 10) during the second service at West End Community Church. We'd love to have you come sit stage left in the sanctuary during the service.
Hope to see you this weekend!
Jaime, Andy and Noelle
First, the annual Greek Festival is this Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox church, 4905 Franklin Pike. We plan on going Saturday night (Sept. 9) around 5 PM. We hope to see you there! Let us know if you plan on going and we'll look for you in the crowd. http://www.holytrinitynashville.org/GreekFestival2006.dsp
Second, Noelle will be baptized this Sunday (Sept. 10) during the second service at West End Community Church. We'd love to have you come sit stage left in the sanctuary during the service.
Hope to see you this weekend!
Jaime, Andy and Noelle
I've liked Good Eats ever since I saw the first episode. Yes, that's right...a cooking show, that I watch at least 3 or 4 times a week. I even SAVE episodes on our DVR so that I can rewatch them. Jaime likes the show too but she rolls her eyes when I rewatch episodes.
So...imagine my surprise when a friend, who works at Opryland Hotel, posted a banner that he designed for a cooking seminar at the hotel, featuring none other than the host of Good Eats, Alton Brown.
Now, I respect and admire Alton Brown for many reasons: he's funny, has a successful cooking show that not only demonstrates haute cuisine, but also explains, and focuses on, the nuts and bolts of what's happening when you pan fry something. Or the chemical reaction that takes place when you whip egg whites into meringue. Plus he gets to cook for a living.
I made the decision to purchase tickets as soon as I could. So I immediately sprang into action, leaped up from my chair, then sat down puffing heavily. No, I decided instead...this deserved a phone call. Matt, (Guest) my best friend in the world, works at Opryland. I thought to myself, "maybe he could help me out?" And help me out he did, by providing me with a most EXCELLENT 50% discount. Which is good because the tickets were normally $60 apiece.
Anyway. To make a long story even longer, Jaime and I spent 2 hours today watching Alton Brown deep fry a turkey (cooked in less than 40 minutes could you believe?). His trademark banter and witty repartee in place, Alton entertained a room of about 600+ people, all there to see him. Who knew that Good Eats was so popular?
We had a great time and of course had to document the fact that we got to meet and speak to him for a brief moment. We even have the picture to prove it.
at least we weren't the ones wearing the "Assman's Butt Rubb & Kiester Sauces" t-shirts.
So the car seems to be rebelling against me saying that I now OWNED it. In the last week, I have had to go to the dealership twice for repairs, and had to call roadside assistance once.
The first time, I noticed water leaking onto the floor in the front and figured it was an a/c issue. Some condensation tube was blocked and had to be replaced, for $100.
Then on Sunday, we went to P.F. Chang's after church for lunch, and Andy went to get the car so Noelle and I wouldn't have to walk so far in the heat. After about 5 minutes I began to wonder where he was, and finally saw him walking towards us from where the car was parked. The car wouldn't start. Luckily we were right in front of Borders, because we were stuck there for about an hour waiting for someone to come jump the car.
Yesterday, the car was having a hard time starting up but finally made it, only to die at the first stop sign I came to. I got it started again and headed straight to the dealership. Turned out it was just the battery, but because I was at a dealership, there goes $120. Those kinds of things aren't covered under my warranty.
Very frustrating, but at least we had the money that we aren't spending on car payments anymore to pay for those two little repairs. So I take it back, Car, I don't own you. Now please start behaving again.
The first time, I noticed water leaking onto the floor in the front and figured it was an a/c issue. Some condensation tube was blocked and had to be replaced, for $100.
Then on Sunday, we went to P.F. Chang's after church for lunch, and Andy went to get the car so Noelle and I wouldn't have to walk so far in the heat. After about 5 minutes I began to wonder where he was, and finally saw him walking towards us from where the car was parked. The car wouldn't start. Luckily we were right in front of Borders, because we were stuck there for about an hour waiting for someone to come jump the car.
Yesterday, the car was having a hard time starting up but finally made it, only to die at the first stop sign I came to. I got it started again and headed straight to the dealership. Turned out it was just the battery, but because I was at a dealership, there goes $120. Those kinds of things aren't covered under my warranty.
Very frustrating, but at least we had the money that we aren't spending on car payments anymore to pay for those two little repairs. So I take it back, Car, I don't own you. Now please start behaving again.
on July 08 2006 at 09:29 PM
by: Andy Matthews
I watched an episode of Good Eats wherein Alton Brown, the host, spoke of cooking artichokes. Having only ever had artichokes in that tasty concoction known as Artichoke dip, I decided to follow his lead and cook a whole artichoke for dinner.
A daunting process, I forged forward nonetheless. Stripping away the outer, somewhat brown leaves and cutting off the base, I boiled them in salted water until tender. While cooking, I prepared a dipping sauce of dijon mustard, mayo, cayenne, lemon juice and shredded parmesan cheese.
Once they were done, Jaime and I drained them and set about eating them, leaf by leaf until we had nothing left but a pile of empty husks.
All in all a satisfying meal, if a little scary looking. That hairy thing at the top is called the choke and is actually at the very center of the vegetable, right above the heart. Don't try to eat it, you'll poke yourself as it's sharp and pointy.
on June 19 2006 at 10:54 AM
by: Andy Matthews
So the whole Matthews household has the plague. If it gets any worse we're going to have to burn our bedding and make sure that any household rats don't get out into the general population.
Okay, okay. So it's not quite that bad, but I've got a stuffed up nose, sore throat and I'm tired, Jaime's miserable and just about useless from the drugs and Noelle won't sleep hardly at all (which just contributes to the general sickness around the house).
I used to the be the sort of person that would go into work no matter what, because I didn't want to be one of those people who stayed home because they "stubbed their toe" or something. But over the past few years I've recognized the value in staying home to both rest AND take myself out of circulation.
At ICGLink, my current job, my co-workers and I work in really close proximity to each other which means that anything I get, they'll get, and vice versa. So today, I stayed home for me and for them. That's right...ever so noble...that's me.
Okay, okay. So it's not quite that bad, but I've got a stuffed up nose, sore throat and I'm tired, Jaime's miserable and just about useless from the drugs and Noelle won't sleep hardly at all (which just contributes to the general sickness around the house).
I used to the be the sort of person that would go into work no matter what, because I didn't want to be one of those people who stayed home because they "stubbed their toe" or something. But over the past few years I've recognized the value in staying home to both rest AND take myself out of circulation.
At ICGLink, my current job, my co-workers and I work in really close proximity to each other which means that anything I get, they'll get, and vice versa. So today, I stayed home for me and for them. That's right...ever so noble...that's me.
on June 14 2006 at 09:14 AM
by: Andy Matthews
We went down to Tampa this past weekend to visit my parents. My dad hasn't seen Noelle in person since she was born, and it's been at least 3 months since my mom has seen her. Needless to say they were overjoyed and ecstatic for us to be down in Tampa. Not only did they get to spend time with the Also, while we were in Tampa, I got a chance to show Jaime some of my old haunts, the site of the Jahva coffeehouse in Lakeland, University Mall, and more. We also had a chance to spend time with some of my old friends: Suze & Scott Meredith (haven't seen either of them in over 10 years) and Heath & Rebecca Kruse. What a great time it was.
We also got to meet up with Jaime's mom's best friend Becky who lives in Lake Wales. The picture above was taken after eating dinner with Becky and her husband Bruce. Isn't it amazing? One of the better pictures of my two favorite ladies and Noelle has an amazing smile: she could be a doll.
When we got back, we all almost collapsed we were so tired, but in a crowning moment I got to see Noelle roll over on her play mat. It's the first time for me and I think it bodes well for the future.
Kids are great...and they grow up so fast.
Yesterday was our 3 year wedding anniversary. When we first got married, I said something about Andy and I having 60+ years together, and he pretended to be upset at me limiting our future. I thought that the "plus" covered everything, but he wasn't satisfied. So, I changed it to 61+, and therefore we now have 58+ years to go. I mean, in 58 years Andy will be almost 94 years old. I know that healthcare is getting better all the time, but I think that's a pretty fair prediction.
We celebrated yesterday by going out to dinner while our friend Robin watched Noelle. We were only gone for an hour and a half, but it was great to be just the two of us for a little bit. After we got home, we put Noelle to bed and watched a movie together. It wasn't the most "exciting" of evenings, but we were together, and that's all that really matters. I talked to Noelle yesterday about what it meant that we were having an anniversary, and how even on our wedding day she was a planned member of our family.
We talked at dinner about how we feel like God has really blessed our marriage, with not only a friendship that grows deeper all the time, but great friends, good jobs, an amazing house, and a beautiful baby. We are so thankful for the life that God has given us and the future He has for our family.
We celebrated yesterday by going out to dinner while our friend Robin watched Noelle. We were only gone for an hour and a half, but it was great to be just the two of us for a little bit. After we got home, we put Noelle to bed and watched a movie together. It wasn't the most "exciting" of evenings, but we were together, and that's all that really matters. I talked to Noelle yesterday about what it meant that we were having an anniversary, and how even on our wedding day she was a planned member of our family.
We talked at dinner about how we feel like God has really blessed our marriage, with not only a friendship that grows deeper all the time, but great friends, good jobs, an amazing house, and a beautiful baby. We are so thankful for the life that God has given us and the future He has for our family.
on March 05 2006 at 06:33 PM
by: Andy Matthews
Hey everyone...
We know it's been a while since we last posted but as you can see, we've been doing a wee little bit of housecleaning around here.
We've added a lot more functionality and everything should now be easier to read. Pictures will be larger and more frequently uploaded. Plus you can more easily find old posts and pictures.
Like what you see? Let us know!
We've added a lot more functionality and everything should now be easier to read. Pictures will be larger and more frequently uploaded. Plus you can more easily find old posts and pictures.
Like what you see? Let us know!
I had my 6 week post-partum check up today, which means that my baby girl is 6 weeks old! We weighed her at the grocery store the other day (yes, you read that right), and she is up to 13 1/2 pounds. They really do grow fast! Her 6 week appointment is next week on Wednesday, so I'll let you know what the official weight and height is at that time. I am not allowed to tell you my official weight from my doctor visit today, because you'd be jealous. Ha ha. I just got lucky this time, or my body was always meant to be pregnant. I guess I'll have to keep having more kids!She is definitely going through a growth spurt, which makes her hungrier than ever and more in need of mommy's time. I am really trying to enjoy it as much as I can, knowing in my head that this is a really short time in her life and I will miss it when it is over.
This is a picture from a photo shoot we did a few weeks ago that I love. I will try to be better about posting pictures of her. I take some almost every day, or at least when Andy leaves the camera home. He brings it to work a lot to get pictures for the Beard Contest, which is thankfully ALMOST OVER! We will all be glad for March 1 to roll around.
on December 23 2005 at 09:56 PM
by: Jaime Matthews
Andy Matthews here...letting you know that the newest addition to the Matthews family arrived today, Friday December 23, at 5:34 PM. Noelle Jordan Matthews weighed 8 pounds, 10 ounces and was 21 inches long. She's a beautiful pink color (quite fitting wouldn't you say?) and is in perfect health.
Jaime was absolutely amazing during the whole ordeal which started at 8:15am this morning when her contractions started,. Mother, father and child are at Vanderbilt hospital in room 4117 (under Matthews, Jaime if they move us). Please feel free to stop by and visit on Saturday, but we'll likely be going home on Sunday for Christmas.
Please join me in welcoming our beautiful daughter to the world.
Andy (jaime and Noelle in absentia) Matthews
on November 22 2005 at 02:30 PM
by: Jaime Matthews
It's certainly a time to rejoice - my last day of work is tomorrow! It could not have come any sooner, because I am really done with the day to day routine of it all. I'm ready for a new routine. From now until baby day, I'll spend my days sleeping in, cleaning the house, taking naps, Christmas shopping, taking more naps, and relaxing. I know the time is going to fly by, and before I know it, my routine will be all about the baby.
We are leaving tomorrow after work for Brazil, IN to spend Thanksgiving at my sister-in-law's parent's house, along with my family. It was a closer drive for us, which is still a bit longer than I'm looking forward to. We will just have to take a lot of breaks! We will be there through Friday afternoon.
I have scheduled a prenatal massage for myself on Saturday afternoon, and I am so excited about it. I got a gift certificate for it when I first learned I was pregnant from my mother-in-law, and I can finally use it! What a great way to start my maternity leave.
We are having the garage drywalled this week, and it is very close to being done. It looks great. It will be nice to have a heated laundry room this winter, for sure. Andy did a ton of work to prepare for the drywall to be done, and I'm so proud of him for it! He can be very handy!
Happy Thanksgiving!
We are leaving tomorrow after work for Brazil, IN to spend Thanksgiving at my sister-in-law's parent's house, along with my family. It was a closer drive for us, which is still a bit longer than I'm looking forward to. We will just have to take a lot of breaks! We will be there through Friday afternoon.
I have scheduled a prenatal massage for myself on Saturday afternoon, and I am so excited about it. I got a gift certificate for it when I first learned I was pregnant from my mother-in-law, and I can finally use it! What a great way to start my maternity leave.
We are having the garage drywalled this week, and it is very close to being done. It looks great. It will be nice to have a heated laundry room this winter, for sure. Andy did a ton of work to prepare for the drywall to be done, and I'm so proud of him for it! He can be very handy!
Happy Thanksgiving!
on November 04 2005 at 12:01 PM
by: Jaime Matthews
That means a maximum of 10 weeks until we meet this baby. I just had another appointment this morning, and everything is still going fine. I have recently been starving practically all the time, and I told Andy I'm probably going to start packing on the pounds. I gained 3 since my last visit 2 weeks ago, as compared to 1 in the previous 2 weeks. It's good, though. Even if I gained 2 pounds a week for the remaining 8-10, I would still be within the recommended range of pregnancy weight gain. I'm sure some of the weight gain has to do with my ridiculous amount of milk consumption. I bought us 2 gallons last Friday night, and had to go buy more on Wednesday. TWO GALLONS in FIVE DAYS! And Andy doesn't use much milk! This is a picture of me at 29 weeks pregnant, so 3 weeks ago. I tried to post it last time but it didn't work.
on October 25 2005 at 12:13 PM
by: Jaime Matthews
We start our childbirth classes tonight. I'm pretty excited about it, if only because that means we are getting closer to meeting this baby! We are taking them through the Vanderbilt Nurse-Midwife Center where we go for our appointments. The class is on Tuesday nights for the next 6 weeks. I'm not exactly sure what to expect, since my only experience with these types of classes is what I see on tv. I am sure that getting some facts and tips about the labor process will help calm some fears. I am not feeling any anxiety about that yet, but I am sure that I will get to that point. Right now, I'm more concerned with my inability to sleep through the night, the fact that I can't breath very easily at times, and the relentless activity of this child inside me. All of those, combined with occasional nausea, stomach and/or back pain, are making my work experience a lot more difficult. It's bad enough that I spend my days sitting at a computer trying to entertain myself.
So we took our stray cat in to be spayed, and apparently she was pregnant. Not knowing anything about cats, we assumed that she was still pregnant even after the spay, although we weren't sure exactly what spaying involved. I soon found out that they remove the entire uterus, meaning that we unknowingly participated in a kitten abortion. Although we are relieved to not have to care for a pregnant "queen" for several more weeks and then try and figure out what to do with the kittens, I was a little upset. Mom cat seems to be doing fine, though, and Andy is on a quiet campaign to try and keep her. My allergies are forming a revolt against his campaign, as are the dogs. She really is a sweet cat.
Some of you know that we have had two large piles of dirt in our front yard for several months, brought in for a landscaping project that we no longer have the funds for. I finally found some people to take it! We have 5 or 6 people all coming to take some of it, and hopefully that will get rid of it all! If there is a little left, we can of course just spread it out and seed it. But at least we won't have two small hills in the front yard anymore. It's all part of getting ready for the baby.
So we took our stray cat in to be spayed, and apparently she was pregnant. Not knowing anything about cats, we assumed that she was still pregnant even after the spay, although we weren't sure exactly what spaying involved. I soon found out that they remove the entire uterus, meaning that we unknowingly participated in a kitten abortion. Although we are relieved to not have to care for a pregnant "queen" for several more weeks and then try and figure out what to do with the kittens, I was a little upset. Mom cat seems to be doing fine, though, and Andy is on a quiet campaign to try and keep her. My allergies are forming a revolt against his campaign, as are the dogs. She really is a sweet cat.
Some of you know that we have had two large piles of dirt in our front yard for several months, brought in for a landscaping project that we no longer have the funds for. I finally found some people to take it! We have 5 or 6 people all coming to take some of it, and hopefully that will get rid of it all! If there is a little left, we can of course just spread it out and seed it. But at least we won't have two small hills in the front yard anymore. It's all part of getting ready for the baby.
on October 14 2005 at 09:36 AM
by: Jaime Matthews
29 days of work left! I am so ready for the time off. I am starting to feel the strain of these 9 hour work days and the walking all over campus. My abdomen and my back are so sore by the time I get home, I just want to lay down and stay there. But there is of course so much to do around the house. I know we still have 11 weeks until the due date, but a little preterm labor scare this week (that turned out to be nothing) made me realize that it just might come sooner than we think. There's just no time to be putting off projects anymore. We are lucky to have a great group of friends in this area that want to have a work day at our house to help get things ready for the baby. I think we will do that on November 5 so that it can be done for the shower we're having here the following weekend.
There isn't a lot going on around our house other than home projects. Andy is also getting a good amount of freelance work that he's spending some evening and weekend time on, which is great considering that not all of our projects are inexpensive. I put a new picture of me in the photos section. In case you are curious what's happening with our baby at this stage, they now weigh about 2 1/2 pounds and they are a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. Their muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and their head is growing bigger to accommodate the brain ? which is busy developing billions of neurons.
There isn't a lot going on around our house other than home projects. Andy is also getting a good amount of freelance work that he's spending some evening and weekend time on, which is great considering that not all of our projects are inexpensive. I put a new picture of me in the photos section. In case you are curious what's happening with our baby at this stage, they now weigh about 2 1/2 pounds and they are a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. Their muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and their head is growing bigger to accommodate the brain ? which is busy developing billions of neurons.
on October 06 2005 at 11:37 AM
by: Jaime Matthews
We had our 28 week visit this morning, and everything is still going just as it should. The baby still has a strong heartbeat, and it is moving around all the time. They also did a glucose tolerance test this morning for gestational diabetes, so if that comes out positive I'll hear about it in a few days. I don't anticipate it being a problem.
I have gained 3 pounds since my last visit, which was 3 weeks ago, so that is right on track. Now I'm up to 11 pounds gained. I am still not back up to the weight I was before I did the medical research study right before we got pregnant. I will definitely surpass that before all is said and done with this pregnancy, though.
My next appointment is on October 20, because now I go every 2 weeks instead of every 4. There are 84 days left until our due date, and 35 days left of work before I start staying home. How exciting! Andy asked me yesterday what I am looking forward to most about having this baby. I'm not really sure what specifically I am excited about. I've just always wanted to be a mom since I can remember, and I think it will be my ideal job. To invest my life into a little person in a mother-child relationship will be challenging and rewarding.
I have gained 3 pounds since my last visit, which was 3 weeks ago, so that is right on track. Now I'm up to 11 pounds gained. I am still not back up to the weight I was before I did the medical research study right before we got pregnant. I will definitely surpass that before all is said and done with this pregnancy, though.
My next appointment is on October 20, because now I go every 2 weeks instead of every 4. There are 84 days left until our due date, and 35 days left of work before I start staying home. How exciting! Andy asked me yesterday what I am looking forward to most about having this baby. I'm not really sure what specifically I am excited about. I've just always wanted to be a mom since I can remember, and I think it will be my ideal job. To invest my life into a little person in a mother-child relationship will be challenging and rewarding.
on October 04 2005 at 10:13 AM
by: Jaime Matthews
We started working on the nursery last night. This weekend we got the furniture, fabric, and paint for the room while my mom was here for a conference. The crib won't be coming until mom comes back for my shower in November, because our store didn't have it in stock and so my parents picked it up at the one in Chicago.
So last night, Andy and I pulled the carpet out of the room and thankfully the wood floor underneath is in great shape. Just a few paint splatters that I think we can get to come off. Also, the floor is the same as the wood floor in the rest of the house, but apparently the previous owner stained it darker after he put the carpet in, so this wood is lighter. It actually matches our furniture almost exactly, though. And now of course we'll have to get a cozy rug for the nursery.
Also this weekend, we got a free sofa sleeper from a couple in East Nashville. They posted it on our e-mail listserv for anyone who wanted to come get it, and we were the first! It's pretty nice for a free sofa, and it came with a green slipcover.
The fabric store had JUST ENOUGH of the fabric we wanted to make our crib bumper and dust ruffle and the curtains. I like it a lot, and the paint colors we picked out are perfect for it. We got 5 colors of paint for the nursery. The main colors are a light green on top and a darker green on bottom with a creme stripe in between. We got two accent colors of green, as well.
So, it's coming together! 86 more days until the due date, and only 37 more days of work! How wonderful.
So last night, Andy and I pulled the carpet out of the room and thankfully the wood floor underneath is in great shape. Just a few paint splatters that I think we can get to come off. Also, the floor is the same as the wood floor in the rest of the house, but apparently the previous owner stained it darker after he put the carpet in, so this wood is lighter. It actually matches our furniture almost exactly, though. And now of course we'll have to get a cozy rug for the nursery.
Also this weekend, we got a free sofa sleeper from a couple in East Nashville. They posted it on our e-mail listserv for anyone who wanted to come get it, and we were the first! It's pretty nice for a free sofa, and it came with a green slipcover.
The fabric store had JUST ENOUGH of the fabric we wanted to make our crib bumper and dust ruffle and the curtains. I like it a lot, and the paint colors we picked out are perfect for it. We got 5 colors of paint for the nursery. The main colors are a light green on top and a darker green on bottom with a creme stripe in between. We got two accent colors of green, as well.
So, it's coming together! 86 more days until the due date, and only 37 more days of work! How wonderful.
Andy just wrote me an IM and said that he got us a canoe. A friend of his was giving it away, and apparently he has always wanted one. He says I knew this. As I am in "nesting mode" - my first thought was WHERE are we going to store it? He said that he will build a rack up in the carport for it. Then I pointed out that we'll need to buy life jackets, and oars, so it's not as free as he thinks. His excitement was not to be thwarted, though. He said, "now we can go canoeing ANYTIME we want to!" Because, you know, not HAVING a canoe is what was preventing us from going before. He is so funny. And we have a canoe.
on September 21 2005 at 12:35 PM
by: Jaime Matthews
Happy Birthday, Andy! He turns 34 today. What an old man! He commented this morning that he will be 50 when our oldest child gets their driver's license. That's what you get for settling down late in the game! I am glad he waited, though, so that I could find him. Andy claims that birthdays don't matter to him as much anymore now that he's so mature, but I still like to make a big deal of them if I can. He actually gets his birthday off work as a paid holiday, but where is he today? Work. Crazy boy. If anyone told me I could have a paid day off, EVER, I would take it. We are going to P.F. Chang's tonight for dinner to celebrate. Make sure you send him an e-mail with birthday wishes!
on September 16 2005 at 12:17 PM
by: Jaime Matthews
My appointment yesterday confirmed that everything is going along just as it should. Our baby has a strong heartbeat and continues to be very active, which is a huge entertainment to me. I have only gained 8 lbs so far, but I still have 3 months to go so I'm not rejoicing yet at my meager weight gain. I still have plenty of time to blow up. We went ahead and made two more appointments for me, because after the next one I start going every 2 weeks instead of 4. That means the time is approaching! We need to get things ready!
We are getting rid of our queen bed out of the guest bedroom next week, and then we will be able to start decorating the nursery. We picked out a really cool fabric that I am going to use to make curtains, a crib bumper, and dust ruffle. It has a lot of different colors of green in it. We are painting the nursery a light green on top and darker green on bottom, with a creme stripe in the middle. Andy might do something cool with a design in the stripe, too. We will probably take the carpet out of that room, too, since there are hardwood floors underneath and the carpet is blue. We'll see if we get around to it. Maybe next weekend we can go shopping for our nursery furniture.
We finally decided on names for the baby. If we have a girl, she will be called Noelle Jordan, and if we have a boy, we will call him Connor Everett. Noelle because the baby is due at Christmas, and Jordan we got from the show Crossing Jordan. It's only fitting that we choose a name from a tv show, as I was named after the Bionic Woman. Connor we just liked, and Everett was my Grandpa Wadsworth's middle name. I honestly thought for a while that we would never decide on names. But look at us - 3 months to go and we're all set!
I have just 48 days of work left until Thanksgiving, when I am going to start staying home to get things ready and rest. I am so excited for that day.
We are getting rid of our queen bed out of the guest bedroom next week, and then we will be able to start decorating the nursery. We picked out a really cool fabric that I am going to use to make curtains, a crib bumper, and dust ruffle. It has a lot of different colors of green in it. We are painting the nursery a light green on top and darker green on bottom, with a creme stripe in the middle. Andy might do something cool with a design in the stripe, too. We will probably take the carpet out of that room, too, since there are hardwood floors underneath and the carpet is blue. We'll see if we get around to it. Maybe next weekend we can go shopping for our nursery furniture.
We finally decided on names for the baby. If we have a girl, she will be called Noelle Jordan, and if we have a boy, we will call him Connor Everett. Noelle because the baby is due at Christmas, and Jordan we got from the show Crossing Jordan. It's only fitting that we choose a name from a tv show, as I was named after the Bionic Woman. Connor we just liked, and Everett was my Grandpa Wadsworth's middle name. I honestly thought for a while that we would never decide on names. But look at us - 3 months to go and we're all set!
I have just 48 days of work left until Thanksgiving, when I am going to start staying home to get things ready and rest. I am so excited for that day.
on September 14 2005 at 09:32 AM
by: Jaime Matthews
We're having a nephew! Jon and Mindy found out yesterday that they are having another boy. They had a great ultrasound that left no question about the gender of their baby. They also saw him sucking his thumb and playing with the cord. How exciting! His name will probably be Jeremiah. So, our baby has 2 boy cousins! And those cousins are my baby's only cousins. Knowing what Jon and Mindy are having definitely makes me a little more anxious to find out about our little one! I can handle it, though. Just 3 1/2 more months to go.
I have another appointment with my midwife tomorrow morning, so I'll try and write another update. These appointments aren't much, though. Listen to the heartbeat, measure me, ask me if I'm doing alright, and send me on my way. At my next appointment they will do another test for gestational diabetes, so I'll have to drink another "Glucola" before I go. Yum.
I have another appointment with my midwife tomorrow morning, so I'll try and write another update. These appointments aren't much, though. Listen to the heartbeat, measure me, ask me if I'm doing alright, and send me on my way. At my next appointment they will do another test for gestational diabetes, so I'll have to drink another "Glucola" before I go. Yum.
We had our 20 week visit and ultrasound on Monday, and we were so amazed. Just being able to watch our tiny baby moving around, to see little fingers and toes, and a spine and brain and heart. To know that we get to meet this little person in just 20 weeks time. To see them kick on the screen and feel it at the same time. It definitely makes it more real to have had a glimpse of what this baby looks like as they are developing inside me. Now when I feel the kicks and squirms, I can imagine the little person who is doing that to me.
The baby is perfect, as far as they can tell. Everything is in the right place and functioning like it should. And, although mommy hasn't gained much weight, the baby is plenty big! 15 ounces, when the average 20 weeker is only 10 ounces. I was 9 lb 10 oz myself, so we might just have a big kid on our hands. My next appointment is on September 15, when I will be 25 weeks pregnant.
The baby is perfect, as far as they can tell. Everything is in the right place and functioning like it should. And, although mommy hasn't gained much weight, the baby is plenty big! 15 ounces, when the average 20 weeker is only 10 ounces. I was 9 lb 10 oz myself, so we might just have a big kid on our hands. My next appointment is on September 15, when I will be 25 weeks pregnant.
19 weeks today! We're almost half way there. This pregnancy thing really takes a long time. I want to meet this child! It is starting to get fun now, though, since I am looking more pregnant and can feel the baby fairly often. Not true kicks yet, but they are definitely being a wiggle worm in there. Andy was surprised the other day when I told him that I only really need an extra 300 calories a day to "feed the baby", so I pointed out that the kid is only 5 inches tall right now.
My emotions are running wild lately. I've cried over everything there is to cry about, and some things that aren't. I cried because we have kittens living under our house that we can't find homes for. I cried because someone told me "you don't look pregnant." I cried because we have to spend $3000 on a new engine for Andy's car. Okay, that one is a valid reason to cry.
Also, this week I had to stop being the pathetic sick one and let Andy take over. He had an allergic reaction to something - probably either octopus or deodorant - and got hives all over his entire body. He suffered all weekend, and finally got a steroid shot on Tuesday. He is feeling better for the most part, although the itchiness comes back sometimes. He was pretty pathetic for a while there, but I enjoyed taking care of him.
My emotions are running wild lately. I've cried over everything there is to cry about, and some things that aren't. I cried because we have kittens living under our house that we can't find homes for. I cried because someone told me "you don't look pregnant." I cried because we have to spend $3000 on a new engine for Andy's car. Okay, that one is a valid reason to cry.
Also, this week I had to stop being the pathetic sick one and let Andy take over. He had an allergic reaction to something - probably either octopus or deodorant - and got hives all over his entire body. He suffered all weekend, and finally got a steroid shot on Tuesday. He is feeling better for the most part, although the itchiness comes back sometimes. He was pretty pathetic for a while there, but I enjoyed taking care of him.
Last night, Nacho got stung repeatedly by a mob of yellowjackets out in the back yard. We knew they were there, because just last weekend Andy got attacked by the same mob while mowing the lawn. I noticed Nacho was a little too close for my comfort to the nest location, and before I could do anything he was running around like a crazy dog trying to swat the things off of himself. We quicky brushed him off and threw him in the bath to try and soothe the stings. After that, he went and hid under the bed, then came out and threw up twice on the bedroom floor, then started rolling around on every available surface trying to scratch his face. Then I noticed that his mouth was completely swollen to probably 3 times its normal size. Poor dog. We gave him some Benadryl and a children's aspirin, and the swelling started to go down eventually. It didn't totally go away until this morning. I thought about taking pictures, because he looked pretty darn funny with a humongous upper lip, but that would have just been mean.
 | |||||
| Mar | Feb | Jan | |||
 | |||||
| Dec | Nov | Oct | Sep | Aug | Jul |
| Jun | May | Apr | Mar | Feb | Jan |
 | |||||
| Dec | Nov | Oct | Sep | Aug | Jul |
| Jun | May | Apr | Mar | Feb | Jan |
 | |||||
| Dec | Nov | Oct | Sep | Aug | Jul |
| Jun | May | Apr | Mar | Feb | Jan |
 | |||||
| Dec | Nov | Oct | Sep | Aug | Jul |
| Jun | May | Apr | Mar | Feb | Jan |
 | |||||
| Dec | Nov | Oct | Sep | Aug | Jul |
| Jun | May | Apr | Jan | ||
 | |||||
| Dec | Nov | Oct | Aug | Jul | Jun |
| May | Apr | Mar | Feb | Jan | |
 | |||||
| Dec | Oct | Jul | Jun | May | Apr |
As usual I am laughing inside as you describe what the kids are doing, or not doing as the case might be. But tonight takes the cake, Evan sounds soooo much like his Daddy at that age, I am laughing with you and praying for you. It isn't easy keeping up with a very active and inquisitive little boy. As for the rest of your blog, you always manage to make the most profound statements that make me look at my own thoughts and actions. You do have a way with words my sweet daughter in-law. God bless you as you continue your journey to become the best mom and wife God would have you be.
Carol - March 05, 2010 06:02 pm